School trip

[Honeybuns91]

Hi All,

Looking for some advice...

My 12 year old (medicated ADHD) has been left out of a end of year ‘rewards’ trip to Blackpool Pleasure Beach because he was suspended in November. I feel that he has achieved so much this year, things we could have only dreamt of this time last year. He’s got 500+ positive behaviour points, completed assessments (wasn’t able to do sats this time last year!), captained the rugby team, won the form star award etc. And all of these are a massive achievement for him personally. Yet school have decided because he doesn’t meet their ‘one size fits all’ criteria for a place on the trip, he isn’t eligible.

I have already informed school that he won’t be attending school that day to sit in an empty classroom but he is now asking me to take him along to Blackpool Pleasure Beach on that same day. I’m happy to do so as I want him to have this experience with his friends but I’m worried school will intervene and somehow stop him from ‘hanging around’ with his friends because he isn’t part of the school trip.

What would you do?! Help! I’m not sure what to do for the best!

I don't like these reward trips as it is all a bit all or nothing. A massive reward, or no reward. Most children of this age can't work towards a long term reward such as this, and the ones going are likely to have intrinsic motivation to be good.

Having said that, taking him to BPB on the same day would be hugely undermining towards the school. It sounds like he has had a really positive year and that the school have given him lots of positive praise and opportunities to thrive eg. rugby. It seems petty to take him on the same day and they could prevent him hanging around with his mates, because they're in loco parentis. It would teach your son that if he doesn't like a rule, he should try to get round it somehow, which is not going to help his behaviour going forward.

Although fines for a single day of unauthorised absence are uncommon, they are possible. If a parent intentionally undermines like this, the headteacher would be much more likely to recommend a fine (it's the local authority that decide and each have their own criteria).

It certainly wouldn't be something I would do.

I would speak to the school again, but I wouldn’t take DS there on the same day if you want to maintain a relationship with the school.