I can not go to the park again

[LoveFridaynight]

DS only attends school for 2 1/2 hours a day, despite me fighting for more hours. He is a complete bundle of energy so I have to take him out for a couple of hours after school or he doesn't sleep.
I was on my way to pick him up and I had the worst headache. The thought of going to the park was just so depressing. I felt sick and my head hurt so much.
We have to go to the same park every day and I feel like I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. I have tried taking him to different parks, even getting near it causes a huge meltdown.
The thought of going tomorrow makes me want to cry. I get it. I know routine is important to autistic people but I don't want to do it anymore.
I actually called DH in almost tears (don't know what I expected him to do from work) and he said "you only have to go for a couple of hours. I do it every Saturday."
Yes he does it every Saturday but that is one day. I wouldn't mind going to the park either if it was once a week..
Sorry just a moan from a stressed mum

If you want DS to attend school full-time, he can, unless the school is formally suspending him. You don’t need to fight. Inform the headteacher DS will be attending full time from X date unless he is formally suspended.

Alongside this, if DS is compulsory school age, request alternative provision from the LA. IPSEA has a model letter you can use. If the LA refuses, delays, or ignores you, email the Director of Children’s Services threatening judicial review. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. Then, if that fails, JR proceedings will work.

Does DS have an EHCP?

I emailed the head and said DS will be attending full time from the week after half term. No he can't because they haven't sorted out a staff member for him (he has a 1:1). I asked why his morning TA couldn't do it but apparently she only works until 1.
His EHCP states he needs a 1:1 . This was finalised on the 12th September so I'm not sure where his funding for his full time TA is going because it's clearly not being spent on a TA
He's only 4 so technically doesn't need to be in school full time and I think this is what the school are using as an excuse (despite the fact there must be a load of 4 year olds also in reception or at least there were last September).

If you want DS to attend full time, you don’t need the school to say yes. Just follow through with your email. DS will be attending full time, and you won’t be collecting early unless he is formally suspended. DS being 4 is irrelevant to him attending school full time if that is what you want. He is entitled to attend full time. At the moment, there is no incentive for the school to sort anything because they are getting away with unlawfully excluding DS.

Also contact the LA, they don’t have the duty I mentioned in my previous post but they do have a duty to ensure the provision in the EHCP is provided. They are ultimately responsible for it.

How are you getting on with the school @LoveFridaynight?

Didn't go as well as I hoped tbh. Finally after emailing the head twice he responded.
I said I wanted DS to go full time from the Monday after half term. The head hasn't actually refused but he is making it hard for me. The head says if DS goes full time he will never get a space in a special school because the LA will use that as proof DS can cope in mainstream. I said that surely this would give them time to gain more evidence that he couldn't cope and that DS is entitled to go full time.
The head then said he thinks going full time works be too much for DS (even though he did 40 hours a week at nursery) and that if I want to up his hours that's fine but I should consider doing it more slowly. He suggested 9:30 until 1:00 (so only an extra 45 minutes). I said I'd get back to him.
I really wanted to say no. I want him to go full time but now I feel guilty that maybe it would be too big a change for DS. If he's only in until 1 we'll still have to go to the park daily. Probably will if he finishes at 3:30.
I don't know if I should accept the extra 45 minutes or insist on him finishing at 3:30.

If you want DS to attend full time, ignore the headteacher. You don’t need them to agree or be happy about it. You need to be more assertive. At the moment, the HT is seeing the school can do what they want and fob you off. If the HT wants to suspend, he needs to do it lawfully.

Would they suspend? Like find a reason? Looking at their exclusion policy I don't think they can without following the steps but I worry they may start the procedure just because they don't want him in full time.
I don't get it. He's not violent or anything like that but I suppose he does take a member of staff away from the rest of the class.
I do want to keep the school onside but I know I do need to be more firm for DS's sake.

If you genuinely think it would be better for DS to increase the time a bit more gradually, you can do that, but still insist on the time ramping up – 'Oh yes, that's a good idea. Next week I'll get him at 1pm, then the week after 2pm, then after that he'll do full days.' Or whatever you think would suit DS.

It is a problem for the school that DS takes a member of staff away from the rest of the class in the afternoon, but that is not your problem or DS's problem – particularly when he has EHCP funding for a full-time 1:1! (And if the 1:1 funding in the EHCP isn't adequate, school need to take that up with the LA.)

Send him in full time. Two things can happen - either he's ok with the 121. Or he isn't, is formally excluded and you have a much stronger caae for special school. Otherwise this will drag on for years.

The school can’t suspend just because they can’t meet DS’s SEN. However, don’t worry if the school does suspend. A formal suspension instead of an unlawful, informal exclusion will a) provide evidence of unmet needs to help you pursue additional support, b) force the school to follow due process, c) limit the number of days the school can suspend for, d) allow you to challenge any suspension, and e) once DS is compulsory school age, ensure DS receives alternative education for longer suspensions.