First o/night respite tonight.. and I'm a bit of a basket case..

[ChocolateRockingHorse]

..don't know why. He should have had his first overnighter last week but when I rang to check they had soya milk, no-one knew he was coming.. they'd cocked the dates up! But I wasn't a basket case last week.. I was really relaxed; we've really fought for this (respite at a centre) and been waiting for a long time.

Maybe it's because I'm pre-menstrual.. or maybe because I'm here on my own with DS at the moment. Just been packing his bag. Have ended up writing 2 sides of A4 as "instructions" even though he already has a care plan.. but I just can't imagine anyone doing all the things we do, the way we do them..

DS is v. excited. I feel sick with stress. Don't know what's the matter with me! And we're going out tonight for my sister's birthday (indian resturant) so I really need to relax!!

Wish there were some SN bods about to say "there there.."

Oh God what a wet sap I am!

there there
it is hard the first time, i think cos we have so much hands on care and pure detective work with our kids it is hard to think that anyone else will be able to look after them ever but they will.
plan something nice and believe me it will get easier honest

OJ thank you. You are a sweetheart. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my ramblings when you're in the situation you are in. I'm ShinyHappy (didn't know if you knew that), by the way and thinking of you lots. xx

oh fab i didn't realise but did wonder where shiney had gone. so glad you have not gone. do you have any plans for tonight?

Yes it's my baby sister's birthday (31 ) so we're going out for an indian...

well i know you will be worrying anyway but do try to enjoy yourself too.
i am dreading it cos at the end of june all three of our kids are off on resi with school and for the first time ever i will be on my own, i won't know what to do with myself

It will be fine.
Enjoy the rest and have a lovely evening.

Thanks Moondog and OJ. DH back now and feeling a bit better. Got to leave shortly. DS evermore excited!

OJ, DS is also staying a few nights in a couple of weeks.. as we're going up North to meet my new twin step-grandsons.. (DH has met his grandsons already as he want up when his DD was in labour).

A residential holiday sounds fab though.. although I can imagine how you must be feeling about it. Thing is, these are the kinds of things our kids would be doing (eg sleepovers, short breaks with school etc) if they didn't have the special needs, so I suppose it's only right that we overcome our issues for that reason and allow ourselves a rest!

Soc services would choke if they saw this.. the way I have been fighting tooth and nail to get this service!

How old do they normally have to be to get o/night?

No set age but they try to leave you as long as possible. We got turned down til DS was six saying he "was too young" even though that was six years of broken nights.. six WHOLE years!

They then messed us about for another 18 months, re criteria etc. It's been a long hard struggle with energy we didn't have.

First port of call is to tell you social worker you'd like it taken to panel. He/she will assess you in the first instance.

Family-based is usual for the younger ones but DS kept the carer awake ALL night. At Centres there are night staff (obviously) so this is the only type suitable for him.

I wonder if I'll sleep through tonight!!

hoping it went ok for you all and hoping you get some sleep

Bet you still woke up at every sound!

We have been turned down for DS aged 8 next month as 'he isn't ready'

They just don't want him there becvause he doesn't sleep!