(Potential) ADHD Parenting Advice/Books etc

[NaranjaSilla]

Hi there,

I’ve read mumsnet for years, have never posted but this is something I’d like anonymous and more experienced advice with.

Just for context, for a while I have been wondering whether one of my children has possibly got ADHD. They are in reception and although doing well socially and progressing in their learning they are a little behind in some areas academically (‘being behind’ is not really one of the major reason for thinking ADHD could be possible). Their teacher has suggested a meeting with the SENCo as they’re wondering if there might be ‘something’ going on. This suggestion was made off the teacher’s own back, we hadn’t mentioned any concerns at that point and she was non-specific about what she was thinking, so her thoughts and mine may or may not be on the same page. But anyway, we’ll get that sorted.

With that in mind, I was hoping I might be able to get any recommendations on books for parenting a child who may have ADHD or even online courses? I know I might be being premature/over egging the pudding at this point but just feel even if I’m totally wrong any advice/tips/strategies can only be helpful?

Thanks!

It depends for a start whether its a boy or a girl (because some girls present differently to boys); or if it looks like the hyperactive, inattentive or combined type?

There are books on Amazon, specifically for ADHD in boys, or ADHD in girls. I’d read first “The Explosive Child” and “The Out of Synch Child”, which aren't specifically about any one condition, but they explain why some children behave the way they do. I found them helpful to understand several children in my family. (ADHD)

ADHD presents differently in different people. To get resources relevant to your DC it might help to say what you are struggling with.

Some of ADDitude’s articles are good.

Thank you both! Yes, sorry- I didn’t think about the boy/girl differences when posting. This is about my daughter. I think she’d probably be hyperactive- there are some inattentive like symptoms (difficulties with listening is a big one) but she seems to fit the hyperactive profile more.

I think I find impulsiveness, seemingly not listening to directions and the hurtling her body about dangerously challenging (she is told not to each time/given alternatives but will still repeat- I guess that’s the impulsiveness/ seeming not to listen). I will say that the only thing the teacher hinted out of those was sometimes not listening. She can be really grumpy or extremely emotional after school/ when at home though, so if there is anything she may be masking during school.

There are other things but I feel I have a slightly better handle on them.

I know that the stuff I’ve listed (a long with the other stuff) may just be regular 4/5 year old/ personality etc but it does just seem a bit beyond that to me. Either way though, me and her dad need to change tack. I just want her to know how awesome she is but at the moment I feel like I’m just constantly telling her she’s doing something wrong/ telling her to stop/ saying no etc.

I’ll check out your recommendations to start with-particularly the ones that aren’t diagnosis specific.

Thanks again to you both.

I find ADHDdude very helpful (he has videos on YouTube and a podcast called The ADHD Parenting Podcast). Also I’d you are into in depth content try Russell Barkley who is a key researcher of ADHD. Note that more recent understandings of what ADHD is suggest that it affects much more than focus/concentration - also social skills, working memory etc.

Generally a parenting approach that many recommended is to try to ignore attention-seeking behaviour and minor bad behaviour rather than criticising, and focus on pointing out and giving positive attention to good behaviour. It is really easier said than done though!

As well as ADHD, you could look at ASD. There is a lot of overlap and, for some, what you describe can be related to autism.

DD hurtling her body about could well be because of sensory needs. Do you have any sensory equipment at home and a trampoline? Does the school run sensory circuits? Are they providing proper movement breaks?

The grumpiness/emotionalness after school could well be because school is difficult. At your meeting, discuss what further support the school is going to provide.