I was always on the fence whether DD9 was autistic or not. She's definitely quirky! But I used to um and ah over whether she'd meet criteria because she loves school, she has lots of friends and her difficulties with emotions have calmed over the years she was on the list. Last year she was diagnosed autistic and told them "I know". She has fully embraced the identity and is a fierce defender of the right to be different (as well as a fierce environmentalist). She has matured so much in the past 6 months. We applied for DLA after her diagnosis as she needed significant additional care and support with lots of things, as well as sensory supports like chew necklaces and ear defenders. Now she is diagnosed she has slowly reduced using these supports, she has them if she needs them but usually chooses not to. She is aware of when things will be too much and just doesn't do them. She's much better at getting herself ready for things and follows a routine for these that works really well. She is still wet at night, but for now she is unfazed by this and we have stopped trying for a while and gone back to pull ups. This has reduced anxiety and tiredness. Overall I feel like she is now easier to parent than her NT brother!
I keep second guessing myself, did they get her diagnosis wrong? Am I being unfair applying for DLA? I only put what we did at the time. And without the routines and time we spent setting those up I think she would struggle. But at the moment she's so settled I am questioning myself!