SAHM or work how do you do it?

[2shoes]

I found the thread in site stuff interesting about being a SAHM.
wondered it we could talk about it a bit more on here.
I have't "worked" since dd was born.every time I have thought of getting a p/t job a letter pops through the door with an appointment on it. or dd is poorly.
we have no support from family or freinds. so how do people go to work.

ah 2shoes
no chance of work here and i have stopped expecting to return tbh. But that isn't an issue for us financially and i am happy to be at home now.
I am not sure how I would have held down a job tbh - not sure it would have been possible for me although I am sure some find a way.
It must be terribly hard to not be able to get back to work if you wish to . But for my DS he couldn't tolerate childcare even if I could find it.
ho hum

I don't think there is childcareout there for dd and if there was it would cost a fortune.

Odd you should mention this! I had a real pang of sadness this morning for the life that is forever gone! And in return I think my brain has turned to mush!
Frankly I only manage a little work and that because dh has one day a week where he is 'on DS call' and works shorter hours. He tries to avoid all business trips on that day and when he cant avoid it I use a mixture of Ds to the next door neighbour (dog walking) for 20 minutes to wait for the taxi and leaving work early!. In return I try to fill in extra days when they are short staffed when dh is not away. I have tried to do more - but it is very difficult to find things with the flexibility. As you may have noticed I am not a natural at writing or computor skills!

same here.
People (other mums) ask me all the time 'so, do you think you'll go back to work then?'

Then I describe them my typical week with the therapies, meetings and appointments, and the letters and e-mails and what not, and sometimes they get the picture, sometimes not.

I used to miss my other life, but I would not want anyone else to do what I am doing. There is no nanny in the world I could delegate this to. Maybe when DS and his siblings are older, but not for the foreseeable future.

I returned to work and for me I think I had to too retain my sanity. Im very lucky in that we have two very supportive sets of grandparents who are tripping over themselves to look after ds. It works out very well for us.

I work 4 days a week and the one day I dont is when we have out ot/physio/SALT appointments. I also have an extrmely understanding boss who gives me time off for the appiontments that cant be fitted onto my day off!

im working part time now. i work monday to friday and start at 12.30 so i try and arrange all our appointments/portage etc for as early as possible. my colleagues are very supportive now so thats a help. i had to leave my last job because they gave me no lea way at all. my inlaws look after ds while dh and i are at work. never thought id be happy to have them live so close by

Another SAHM here - DS2 is part time home educated and it takes much of my time to coordinate his ABA programme. We're very lucky that we can live on DH's salary, but it's slowly draining us financially. Things would be so much easier if I could go back to work (and I think it would be better for me tbh) but it's impossible atm. I haven't even got time for basic things like sorting out the washing as it is (though manage to squeeze in Mn time ).

I worked part-time once DS had gone to school but it was really fulltime with all the appts etc. We have no family support but juggled and managed. You should look at Carers UK because I believe that it is law now that Carers HAVE to be supported to return to work, study etc. In practical terms who knows what that would mean but always worth knowing your rights. You would lose Carers' Allowance of course.

I work part time, but mainly evenings and weekends, so DH can look after the DCs. I can self roster my shifts so am able to keep myself free for important appointments.

I had to go back to work after my ds was born because I had taken the extra maternity pay you got if returning to work and I couldn't afford to pay it back. I found it extremely hard to organise childcare and I did the minimum time....3 months...and only 3 days a week.I also took an awful lot of time off sick. My immediate boss was very understanding unlike the Health Authority I worked for who didn't consider having a ds with sn an exceptional enough circumstance for me not to honour my maternity pay agreement. I now work part time, evenings mainly, when dh is home for dcs. I enjoy the break and it does keep me sane. The little extra money does come in handy too and because I earn less than £95 per week it doesn't affect carers allowance either.

It's really hard. I work from home as a freelance journalist but don't do enough work to make much difference financially. DH is a teacher but has only been qualified 2 years and we have whopper debts so all the earnings just get swallowed. We have no useful relatives to help with childcare. DD goes to nursery 6hrs a week and by the time I've got home and browsed mumsnet worked hard for a couple of hours it's time to walk back to collect her. Can't increase nursery hrs until she has a statement.

I work part time, mainly from home with occasional outside meetings. I am very lucky with my job, I love it and they are very understanding.

I have a 40% contract, can work from home and have a sympathetic employer - and a DH with flexible hours too -and a part time SN nanny. So no, not an easy set of circumstances to magic up. I am very conscious of how fortunate I am.

I am working at the moment but finish in July (it was a temporary contract, only 11 hours a week).

I managed it because of after school club for DD1, brilliant pre-school plus wrap around care for DD2 (SN) and fantastic nursery on same site as DD2s preschool for DD3.

BUT DH is Navy so away a lot, no family to help and DD2 starts school in September so no chance of me working after then. Childcare for DD2 is difficult (I wouldn't feel happy leaving her with a childminder) and childcare for 3 in the holidays is impossible and expensive. So even though I earn a fairly good hourly rate for what I do working is going to be very very difficult for as long as I can see. I have studied and trained for years to get where I am and may lose it all as I can't realistically work in my field now.

It is very difficult. We also have no local support from family. I'm always wishing I could give up but financially it's not an option...

Once dd2 started school, I've worked school hours 4 days a week, work are good and allow me to switch round days to fit in appointments etc. They also let me work from home but I can't do this while the children are awake, so it means either v early in morning or late at night, so not ideal. In the school holidays, I've found a holiday club that provides 1:1 care funded by SureStart and I also work more from home then. The most annoying things are the Teacher Training days - I have 2 children at 2 different schools so have to cater for 10 of these days a year on top of the school holidays, and there's no childcare available.

I've been working Sundays 7-3 for the last 6months as a paid carer. It pays about £40 a week, no tax and no childcare costs as DH is home. It's a bit of pocket money, just enough to qualify for maternity allowance too very soon. It might seem like a busman's holiday but it's respite for me, I alternate between driving around clients by myself and working in tandem with another carer for those that need to be moved.

Hang on, £40 can't be right. It averages about £7.50ph anyway.

Fio, it may not be law but I think it is a pretty strong requirement and possibly law...... Carers UK would definitely know more, look at website (obv!).

I am a SAHM. We are OK, which I recognise is incredibly fortunate for us. I would love to work though. I can't at the moment as DS2 has been having at least 3 appointments every week since September. I don't know of any organisation that would put up with all the time off that would mean. I did work full-time with very long hours for a few months after DS1 turned 1, then I went down to 3 days a week for a couple of months before I found out I was pregnant with DS2. It was harder than working full-time because I felt I wasn't doing the right thing by anyone - DS1, DH, the house, my work, even me!

I need to do something else though. I spend all my time with DS2, and I know I need a break in some form or other. But I know that we have it very good compared to a lot of other people....Oh we have no family in the country and I am getting more and more isolated.

FioFio, what happened about the book idea? Any news?