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What to do during meltdown

4 replies

legalseagull · 21/03/2025 07:35

I’ve woken up feeling so sad and desperate. My DD (7) was diagnosed auDHD last year. Our main tell tale signs were huge emotional highs and lows and violent meltdowns.

id be really grateful for any advice on how to deal with these meltdowns. All the official advice I have received it “don’t let it get to that point. Keep her cup empty” FFS. Helpful.

she can go from 0-100 quickly so there’s no pre empting it half the time

how would you deal with yesterday -

she’s meant to be in a club until 5pm. I get a call at 420 asking me to collect her as she’s having a meltdown. I can hear her screaming in the background, so I rush round. When I get there she is devestated. It’s heartbreaking. She thinks she’s been ‘thrown out’ of art club and refuses to leave. She’s screaming this and there’s other kids around. I physically pick her up and carry her out. This escalates things and outside she turns on me. She hates me. She’s kicking and punching me. She then stays away from me. All the time I’m trying to sympathise. I totally get why she’s so upset. She hasn’t been naughty she’s just been ‘too’ upset. I get it. I try to offer things - like to go buy an ice cream, but she’s too furious that I’m refusing to let her go back inside the club.

its worth mentioning that all this time her 5yo brother is sitting in the car with a fever having been home sick all day.

eventually I again pick her up, open the car door with one hand and pretty much kick her in. I felt like I was kidnapping her. I had to drive home with her rattling around in the back un-belted because she was just going ballistic.

it took about an hour for her to calm down.

what on earth am I meant to do in this situation. I’m on borrowed time before she’s too big to pick up. How to I deal with this in a year or two when she’s too heavy?!?!

could I have handled this better?

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SpinningTops · 22/03/2025 12:55

I want to sympathise with you as this is very much us at the moment. 6yo DS will have violent meltdowns, often in public. I have so many stares and essentially I look abusive as I have to restrain him. Problem for me is when we’re far from the car, I have a problem where I shouldn’t carry anything as heavy as him.

Also having to manhandle him into the car (so he can trash the inside of it!)

I just feel broken!

I know all the theory on how you should handle kids but nothing works, he’s not able to hear when in such a state and I’m getting to a point where I feel I’m just going to be trapped in the house with him because I can’t take him out. And we don’t even have a diagnosis because of the long waiting lists.

Sorry - made that all about me there. Hopefully someone will be along with advice.

legalseagull · 22/03/2025 13:24

So sorry you’re going through the same. No amount of reasoning / bribery works does it. I can’t ever find a way past just having to physically move her if we’re out in the public. She will fight and run. I feel the same way- fearful of doing anything ‘nice’ in case she blows

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StrivingForSleep · 22/03/2025 15:09

Would it have been easier to ride out the meltdown in the school rather than try to get DD to the car?

For the car, you need a crelling harness.

legalseagull · 22/03/2025 17:21

It wasn’t at a proper school. It’s a small club in a single room about 7msq so we couldn’t ride it out. There was too many kids in the small room. She needed to leave.
I’ve not heard of the harness. I’ll have a look thanks

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