Im the only one who thinks my son has ASD

[Emmzie2130]

My son is approaching 3 and a half years old.

I've thought for some time now my son has autism. But my husband/family and friends all think that he seems fine.

Things that make me think this:

Lines toys up (anything really not just toys..)
Struggles with transitions (it's a mission getting him down stairs to eat. Get him dressed. Get him out the door especially for nursery.)
Doesn't like to touch weird textures/food (moans and hates being dirty so if sauce from his food gets on him he moans until I clean him and will refuse to touch food... toast or pizza because its saucy and it would go on his fingers).
Vehicle obsession (has a million cars and plays with them allllll day and when out asks a million questions about any vehicle he sees)
Terrible tantrums... cries over everything
Fussy eating/won't feed himself meals and will starve if we don't feed him.
Babbling/whispering to himself ALOT when out walking or going up and down stairs etc or just laying in bed.
Goes in a high tone babbling/some known speech when playing
Sticks tongue out or chews on his tongue.
Won't speak or look at strangers/hides
Has echolalia repeats around 60% of what I say for example "let's play this game" "yeah let's play with game" or "daddy come play with us!" Just repeats that back

Things he can do:

He has eye contact.
Asks ALOT of why/where/who questions all day long.
Can speak long sentences altho speach is unclear (still missing half words so "kitch" for kitchen etc) for most of them.
Gets his needs met
Like so show me things hes done or found "look mummy!"
loves me playing with him "play with me"
Can follow instructions
Can answer simple questions but is hit and miss when I ask what he's been up to at nursery/why he did something.
Has made friends at nursery from what I've been told (I've also asked if they have worries they've said no)

Hi Emmzie

Please stop googling "autism red flags"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

those things you worry about have NOTHING TO DO WITH AUTISM

things you describe your son is doing --- is every child doing!

things which worrying you - is worrying you because you've been told by google results to worry about this things!!! (read it again)

and stop googling!!!

I think what's mostly worrying me is the constant whispering to himself especially when just walking around and it's not even words just babble. Along side how much he still echolalias alot of what we say and he's 3 and a half next month...

Much of what you describe, including talking to himself and echolalia, can be typical for some preschoolers.

I disagree with this.
Whilst some can be developmentally normal some of these are signs of autism.

Lining up objects, obsessed with vehicles, echolalia.

The waiting lists are so long.

Does he go to nursery? Do they have any concerns? I would be proactive with this.

I was in your position when my son was 3.5. I could see the signs, palilalia (whisper repeating himself) echolalia, meltdowns, poor with transitions. DH buried his head in the sand, didn't want to think about it. He's now 6 and it's becoming more obvious, and is on the long waiting list.

Did your son also show you things and ask lots of questions at that age too?

I have asked the nursery if they have any concerns they've said they don't.

But to me I find it obvious...

Echolalia can be part of normal development until 3ish, but for some it can still be part of typical development beyond that age.

Do you also think babbling ALOT is also normal?

Yes, talking to himself/babbling can be typical for some.

I wouldn't say my son is what your mind would typically jump to when you think autism. He is quite keen for interaction. I look back at videos and he was quite a social little boy but with some difficulties.
As he gets older he does seem increasingly different to his peers and I can see his brain works in a different way.

He asks loads of questions and likes to show us things. But I've realised his questions are almost a calming thing for him. So he will ask repetitive questions, the same thing again and again. He likes to ask about timings until. And a lot of his 'normal' style questions will be about his Lego creations.

He is affectionate and very very bright so I think it is easily missed as he's so clever (he's a brilliant chess player at 6 as an example).

This all being said, we're on the waiting list so it might be that he's not autistic

It's so difficult to know...

My son is the same alot of his questions he's asked before a few hours prior and we have to answer them again then he does it again the next day etc..

I have 3 kids, 1 autistic, 2 not. Your child may or may not be autistic. So little information about more important signs of autism (one-sided crawl, late walking, can he walk up or down stairs?) The lining toys up things amd echolalia that come up online annoys me so much. I've had so many people ask me of my autistic child lines up his toys or repeats things. No, he doesn't. My non-autistic, yes they do. My non-autistic children were pretty much the same as your child's list. If I flip your lists, that was my autistic child (strange eye contact, no questions, couldn't get needs met, couldn't follow instructions, didn't line up toys etc). There's so much online about autism that is so wrong. So many people seem to think their non-autistic children are "on the spectrum" when they're clearly not. There is no "spectrum". You are told this when your child is diagnosed.

When my autistic child was diagnosed, he was 7. I'm so pleased I didn't get him diagnosed earlier. I was very confident in the diagnosis at that stage. It's a lifelong diagnosis.

Background:

He was on time for all his milestones I think apart from sitting and speech.

He didn't say his first word until 17 months and had 30 words by 2 years old but didn't start joining 2 words together until around 2 and a half. He still struggles today with finishing off his words.

He tip toed around 80% of the time from 16 months until around 30 months old then stopped.

I think the worry at present is how much he's echoing back with what we say. Its not answers he echos back it's more statements like "it's cold outside" or "I want ice cream!" But again it's around 60/70% of the time he's doing it along with the babbling/jargon he does especially while playing with his cars etc

@Emmzie2130 Has he been referred for Speech and Language Therapy?

We had a child who spoke a lot of gobbledy gook in between one or two recognisable words, and there was a lot of echolalia too. When he was 4 he had the language ability of a 2 year old, and was diagnosed with a severe and complex language disorder.

We were convinced he was autistic as he had a lot of rigid behaviours, but we were assured he wasn't.

He's got his first speech therapy appointment in a weeks time.

My son can speak long sentences but they're sometimes hard to understand as he's still missing off half his words (kitch for kitchen/Oh for on or off) so sometimes it's guess work.

The time he uses the gibberish/babbling is when he's off playing with his cars or just walking up the stairs or when we are outside walking etc (when there's quiet I guess and we aren't speaking to him) but when we speak to him he talks normally.

Was your son tested for autism by a doctor at 4?

He sounds quite a lot like my daughter who’s 5 and had her autism assessment last week. The thing is that one autistic child can look very different from another. I have two, older autistic children who didn’t line things up or get very upset about transitions, like dd4 does. She also flaps - the other two didn’t.

I think people have listened to me because we have such a strong family history.

So yeah, there are stereotypes but some kids fit some of the stereotypes.

Update:

My son had his speech and language appointment today as they had a cancellation.

She said he's a gestalt language processor and said with his symptoms he may or may not be autistic she couldn't tell but said he's making good progress. She

I'd say yes he's ticking a lot of boxes although it can be difficult to be sure when they're young. It wasn't really clear with mine until nearly secondary school but looking back I could see the little things that i had previously put down to his age or being an only child. No one had ever mentioned it as a possibility before then. He could do all the things your ds can do when he was at nursery.

Echolalia after 3 needs investigation because it's not usual. I would also say having worked in a few nurseries that babbling to themselves at 3 and a half is not usual either. DS talked to himself a lot, only now as an adult does it seem to have stopped. People on here will tell you it's all normal and their child did this or that too (people on here told me they talked to themselves or their kids did and that it was fine) but I would be making a note of everything you've written here, anything else you notice as time goes along and getting him assessed.

Yes I've been round a fair few children now my sons age and slightly younger who don't seem to make the same noises/babbling he does so I do feel I should get him assessed. I mean all I can be told is no he's not if im wrong but my mum instincts are not letting it go so I do feel I should see it through...

I was the only one who thought that our DD had ASD and it took a long time to get an assessment but she has finally been assessed and diagnosed.

When the SLaT said that he may or may not have ASD, have any further referals been made? Has he had a hearing test too?

He's been referred for autism assessment as well as a hearing test just got to wait now im not sure what else I can do to help in the meantime

I’m glad you’ve got the SLT, Hearing referrals and he’s on the assessment pathway.

I’d see if you can get a referral to Portage too. In our area you can self refer but if you can’t then I would ask your HV.

And I’d do the same with a referral for Occupational Therapy

What do portage and occupational therapy do to help? If you don't mind me asking

Absolutely no problem!

There is an explanation of Portage here.

And some information on how OT can help with ASD here