ASD & disregatulation

[MonaRosa]

Hi All

My 6 year old has been diagnosed with ASD just couple of months ago. He just got his EHCP through and the school is putting in place extra support for him.

I am also currently on the waiting list for some courses for parents to better understand ASD in children and help my son. However, right now, I am feeling like a complete novice and failure.

We have several challenges, but one that really got me down today is his behaviour. We had a complete meltdown at home due to an altercation with his older brother. One which I feel I mismanaged at a big scale. He ended up biting me and leaving a big bruise.

We then visited family so he could play with his cousins, which he loves and he asked for. I was hoping this will be a positive thing for him. He played nicely with his cousins, but he does get very excited when he sees them. I don’t know what happened exactly, but they were all playing up and my aunt must have told the kids to be quiet and my son ended up hitting my aunt. Understandably, she was upset (furious actually).

I left in a rush, feeling almost we were not wanted there, feeling like a complete failure as a mother, unable to see things escalating before they happened.

Please, may I ask if there is anything that you could recommend that helped the emotional disregualtion of your children?

I am feeling very helpless and lonely right now…

Hi I didn't want to read and run. I've don't have any great advice I'm afraid, but I need to tell you you aren't a bad parent, you haven't failed, and this isn't your fault. You sound like an incredibly thoughtful and considerate parent. My daughter is 8 and her dysregulation is off the scale at the moment and nothing I do seems to help. So you're not alone. I will say that you need any family members / friends you/your son will be hanging out with need to be understanding of his condition. People that don't get it are way too stressful to be around tbh.

PS I've just bought a book called the explosive child, highly recommended to me by many people. I will let you know if it's any good.

As well as The Explosive Child book, some people find the Out of Sync Child book helpful. Others find looking at PDA strategies and declarative language useful.

It is also worth thinking about expectations. If DS had had a big meltdown earlier in the day, he was probably still in a heightened state and dysregulated. Going to family was probably too much during that time.