Hi, I was hoping to find some support on this forum and advice on how to move forward. We are going through the process of getting an autism diagnosis for DS, who is 2.4. I was worried about his speech delay and understanding, but didn’t consider autism until the health visitor flagged that he’s not consistently responding to his name at his two-year developmental review. I didn’t really understand autism and assumed that he couldn’t be diagnosed because he is so affectionate and often seeks out connection and playtime. We have a number of (nonverbal) inside jokes that send him rolling on the floor laughing and he often looks up at me and smiles when we get to his favourite part of a book, etc. He loves travel, new places and being around people, especially loved ones. I understand now that I was wrong in those assumptions. His nursery have always been very fond of him and only after talking to the HV have they flagged that he doesn’t consistently respond to his own name and sometimes is in his own world, not making eye contact. I have moments where I convince myself that he “only” has a language delay, encouraged by well-meaning family and friends, only to come crashing back down and find myself grieving all over again. I really don’t mean to offend anyone with my negativity – I hope to come to a place where I will celebrate DS’s neurodiversity and focus on his strengths and progress.
In the months before his two-year review, I was so in love with age two and how silly, loving and cuddly my boy is. I have always called him my perfect little boy and love being his mom. It makes me so sad that my enjoyment of him has been clouded by worry these past couple months. I know that he is the same boy he was then and I want to cherish every moment of his childhood. It’s just so hard not to worry and to accept that life will be different to how I had imagined. I feel angry that DS’s life will be more difficult and that he’ll struggle.
Does anyone have any advice on how to cope, or positive stories to share? DS is starting private speech therapy next week – he has shown more interest in saying new words recently, so I hope he will respond to SALT well. He even joined words for the first time. He has had a hearing test (glue ear in one ear, but overall hears well). I have also started therapy myself, but the therapist doesn’t understand ASD and I wonder if it will actually be helpful. I am in a better place than I was a couple weeks ago, but I still feel deeply depressed. I spend a lot of time reading forums and Googling autism, receptive language delay, etc. – sometimes I come across stories that give me hope and sometimes I feel crushed by what I read. I know that this isn’t healthy behaviour, but I just don’t know what to do with myself. If you’ve read this far and do take the time to respond, thank you so much 😊