Chronic lateness

[Coffeemoancoffee]

DS15 (with some underlying neurodiversity) just cannot get out the door on time in the morning. He is late every single morning despite getting up in plenty of time. It is normally only 5/10 mins late but I’ve discovered if I nag/ shout he takes longer on purpose. Anyone else been there, any tips? It seems to be anxiety related and now a chronic habit .

Some find changing all the clocks etc. to 5/10 mins earlier helps.

Some find alarms along the way useful e.g. not only an alarm to wake up but an alarm to have breakfast by X time. Although it would be trial and error. It can make it worse for some.

If wider time management is an issue, something like Brain in Hand might help. Removing the need for you to nag.

Is DS getting everything ready the night before? It might be worth trying some PDA strategies.

Thank you I will check those out. I am pretty much his alarm for each stage but it might be better to have actual alarms set so I’ll try that. Everything is laid out organised so it’s not like he is flapping about he just seems to deliberately slow down as he gets closer towards leaving. It is quite bizarre and unbelievably frustrating to watch .

How does he get to school? Walking or public transport?

Does he see it as a problem? If reminding/nagging him about it tends to make it worse then I might be inclined to wait until he starts to find it a problem (e.g. getting into trouble) and then ask him if he wants any help to brainstorm a solution/if he wants your observation.

Sometimes things like alarms and assistive tech can help over a person doing the reminding because it removes the perception that you are placing demands on them.

He walks and does not mind one bit being late 😩 There does not seem to be any consequences from school , this is probably because like I say it is rarely more than 5 or 10 mins. However my worry is this is marked on his record as “late” every day - and I know colleges etc will consider this. Have tried to make this point to him…! But I do think you’re right the motivation needs to come from him. Thank you for the replies I am going to try with the multiple alarms.

I don't think that colleges will be able to see his lateness record.

I would leave it - he will soon find out if it has consequences. Just let him know that you're happy to help if he wants input.