Does this sound like ADHD? What do I do next?

[Shamalamalamaawickettybongbongbadabling]

I have an almost 4 year old DD who I’m starting to think likely has ADHD.

She cannot sit still in a restaurant - she starts shouting or screaming, the only way to calm her down is to give her screen time. She has regular emotional outbursts over all things. She’s always been a poor sleeper, rarely falling asleep before 9.30pm. She’s reacted very badly to the arrival of her DS a year ago, and is frequently too rough or aggressive towards her.

If it’s relevant, she’s way above average for her age in terms of language and learning generally.

What do I do - wait until she starts school? Is there a way to seek support now?

Both my husband and so I are absolutely exhausted by her behaviour.

Is she in a preschool now? What do they say about how she manages there?

Thanks for your reply ☺️ yes she’s in preschool - they sometimes say they’ve had to talk to her about listening, or that’s she’s had an ‘emotional’ day, but haven’t mentioned this being out of the ordinary. I get the impression she’s worse at home than at preschool.

As far as I'm aware they won't assess for ADHD until 7 years as it can be difficult to tell whether different to normal young child behaviour.

My DD is 8 and on the waiting list for adhd / autism combined assessment. At 4 she was very energetic, had huge meltdowns and difficulty following instructions. I think the key thing is is that she still does along with academic difficulties.

With long waiting lists I don't like the watch and wait advice you often get but unless you think there might be autism I'd say you would struggle to get an assessment.

Speak to the preschool.

You are unlikely to receive an ADHD diagnosis at 4. Most don’t diagnose until 6.

Thanks all - appreciate the advice. I get the point about it being to differentiate from regular preschool behavior, but I just don’t see other kids her age behaving like she does.

Most parents of kids with ADHD feel the same, I’m sure. These kinds of behaviours are within the normal range, even if they’re not common, and some kids do grow out of them, hence the waiting. I think this is particularly because of medication too as they don’t want to/can’t prescribe to young dc.

Have you looked at the Ages and Stages Questionnaires?

You may also want to consider if some of what you see as ADHD is actually unmet sensory needs (which may or may not be linked to ADHD). If so, you might find the book the Out of Sync Child helpful. Also, some of the ideas in this booklet.

Can you ask to see your Health Visitor? Mine was great with a referral when my eldest was at Pre-School.

Thank you so much @StrivingForSleep that’s incredibly helpful

You could be describing my DS, who is a year older than your DD. Almost to the letter.

He is autistic with demand avoidance (PDA, if your area will diagnose it). He will also be assessed for ADHD at age 6 as per every assessment we’ve had. I’ll be amazed if he isn’t diagnosed.

Its really hard going. Initially school thought we were bonkers as he’s so smart and sociable (albeit at a very superficial level). However, they are seeing more and more as time goes on.

Is private assessment an option? I’d at least start with a private OT assessment to look at sensory needs. They are usually pretty good at giving you an idea if there is a unifying, ND diagnosis going on as well.