House trashed - fedup and wish I could loan Ds out for a week or several!

[magso]

Didn't know where to post this! Am really down and need a moan! Yes I only have one child - very nice smile - would anyone like him?
Ds is 8 has LD ADHD and ASD traits. Yesturday we went to see Psych for first time (after a nearly 4 year wait), so it brought up all the thoughts I really avoid on a day to day basis. Right now I wish I could just run away - but I can't of course. A family party at the weekend just showed all that ds cant do - and how little even family can understand!
Ds can be very silly, challenging to manage, and is extremely messy. He wets the bed several times every night. This morning there are 3 wet duvets+ covers/sheets and 5 sets of pjs + uniform that lasted less than 5 mins. The lounge carpet needs cleaning again (it is less than a week since I last did it) and I've been up since 5am. The kitchen is disgusting and the house is so messy we haven't had guests for months! Everything smells of pee! As Ds has got older and slightly more independent the constant cleaning has got worse!!
I really lost it with him this morning (he spat out his medicine that I thought he had swallowed 5 mins earlier) and made him change his top and wait outside!
To be honest it is scaring me how much I disliked ds this morning!! If ds could just empathise a little - even say sorry without a prompt it would be easier.
Thankgoodness the sun is out! Perhaps I could put a tent in the garden for ds and have picnics only for a few days!!
Hey ho - 2 washloads out, 2 rooms cleaned making progress!

Lots of sympathy. I live in a messy House of Wee too. Mine are 7, 5 and 2 but it's the 7yr-old who wets everywhere. Half the time he doesn't even realise he's doing it. I can't imagine him ever being dry at night.

No wonder I've killed off the SN meet-up thread.

I'm sure you didn't!! The practicality of meeting up from our diverse corners and getting back for 3.15 is a toughy.
Ds seems sensitive to all smells except those he created! Ds cant aim even half straight when he gets to the loo on time! The worst thing is if I havent noticed him use the loo and er sit down without looking!! There were drips on the ceiling yesturday - what will it be like when hes full grown?
Its the continous need to spring clean every room except ours which is piled high with all the things that need to be shut away from ds! Goodness knows what I'd do with 3 boys!! Have 3 washing machines perhaps!

The day has improved! Lots of sunshine so lots of dry washing and floors- then ds had a good day at school and a sticker to prove it! He even tried to compliment a shoe rack saying how beautiful it was?! Well he's kind of getting there! (And dh who likes clean and tidy is due home tonight and for a short while it is)

Haven't got anything useful to add, but didn't want to read and bugger off silently.

Am completely baffled by drips on the ceiling - how on earth did he manage that?

Very impressed that you can regain your equilibrium so quickly, though!

We can love them, but we don't have to like them!!

I sympathise with you

Want to swap? my house smells of poo!

Thanks guys -was very down yesturday and to be honest it wasn't the mess or even the difficult behaviour (I always focus on the practical)but having to talk about day to day life with ds to a psychaitrist! In my head I know he has autism (aswell) and not just mildly either but well I so wish he didn't and that love alone could fix it!!
Yes it is only wee at the moment - we have mostly moved on from the poo everwhere stage (which drove me even madder)! Perhaps we should swap cleaning tips!!
Ds was well behaved this morning (and the nappy stayed on all night and didn't leak - woopy!)

Magso, I swear by Boots nappy pads, 2 per night and very rare leaks. There are also companies that make all in one pj's with back fastenings for budding Houdini's!

I also love my steam cleaner combined with animal accident spray (available from all good pet shops) for all those accidents.

My DS did a lovel rendition of 'Singing in the Rain' at 3am last week, strip, puddle and dance!

Tent seems promising though, for me, not DS!

Oh I hadn't thought of a steam cleaner does it work on soft and hard surfaces? We have a wet and dry vax for cleaning carpets but it isn't really good enough for 'puddle' troubles!
Are the boots pads for adults - They sound very interesting! My main problem is ds is too big for the size 6 (they leak and are a bit tight so he takes them off) and drynights simply arn't absorbant enough for a multiple wetter! I used to get up several times a night to change ds but since struggling to recover from a chest bug I often don't wake till nearly 6 - by which time ds has removed leaked nappy, put on dry pjs and dry duvet over the wet patch (inovative) and pulled on a second and wet again got up and found breakfast (mess everywhere!). I admire his independence!
I have asked for help from incontinance services several times - still waiting!

The nappy pads are for babies/toddlers and are like large st's I have used them for all 3 of my DS's over 22 years! £2.99 for 28

Nag the continence people, you need the tena pants for our ds. I am disgusted that they have not bothered to contact you.

I have an old vax for the puddles, but the steam cleaner gets rid of the smell and stains. I use it on both hard floors and the few rugs that we have

Sorry to be so long in replying!

Thanks Manxmum. Will look into boots pads - presumably put inside pullup to boost absorbancy- quite cheap too. The augument with incontinence services is always that children should learn to be dry and they keep putting the age limit up (!)- but I just dont think nature has got there yet! (We dont have many rugs carpets either- wonder why!)
Actually had a really nice w/e ds and dh have gone away with other ageing mountaineers and their sons!!! First childfree w/e for 7+ years. Bliss! ( And the house smells lovely!)

Inco nurse said DS 'should' be toilet trained by now, I asked her if she wanted to try doing it

School also rang her and helped with our case

DS is a little chunker and we get tena pants, small, super absorbency and with the two pads, they work great.

You can ring Tena and they will send samples for you to try.

Hi Manxmum. I got the booster pads you suggested, which fit in the leaky 'drynights' and 'feel and learns'. Guess what no washing this morning not even the PJs! Thanks! I've written again to GP for rereferral to Incon services. Thanks again!

Great to hear!

Did you contact Tena?

let me know how it goes with inco nurse

Yea gold brownie points! Interestingly ds woke from a nightmare and had pulled out the wet pad and stuffed in a dry one! Previously he would just have ripped off the wet nappy and refused to be fussed with a dry one since this requires undressing. (I knew because it was sticking out his pull up and PJs - obviously I tweaked it into place!)
Well I looked at the Tena website and thought the small might be a bit big (ds is tall and skinny). Couldn't order samples for children on line, so I'll try again next time I have a ds free hour at home it would be nice to get both sizes to try. Will keep you posted.