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Party dilemma

3 replies

Burtrix7 · 18/01/2025 20:19

My 5 year old (diagnosed autistic) has been invited to his first birthday party next week. He’s in reception in a mainstream school. The party is in a local hall.

I am filled with such anxiety over it. He struggles to regulate and is very emotional. I fear it will just be a disaster. He won’t understand that the presents aren’t his, he won’t cope with party games, he will want to bring his special interest toys and will get upset about the food. He doesn’t hold back and I’m concerned he’s going to ruin the party. Not his fault I know!

The birthday boy is very sweet and kind towards him. But this week he has misread a few situations with him and pushed/chased him thinking they are playing a game. The mum seems understanding though.

My mum thinks he isn’t ready and we should wait for his social understanding to improve. I feel like I should give it a chance but at the same time, I don’t think he will enjoy it and I don’t want to affect the child’s party.

Has anyone got any positive stories they can share?

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 18/01/2025 20:43

I think you should go and just give it a try. Party invites dry up as the children age as people stop having large numbers and just have a few close friends. These may be the only parties he gets to go to. Just wing it and go home if he can’t manage. Take up a bit of space in the world. It’s ok.

SunnyHappyPeople · 18/01/2025 22:19

I would take him, its lovely he has been invited.

There will be so much noise and excitement from 5 year olds that no-one will notice any thing. Parents will be too busy talking and watching their own kids (sometimes!).

Just keep an eye on him and if you sense any issues/upset for him, leave. Just explain to the host before you leave.

The fear is sometimes worse than the reality.

x

BrightYellowTrain · 19/01/2025 12:14

I would let DS try. Let the parents know you might have to dash off quickly and take a packed lunch for DS.

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