Mainstream education isn’t working out for my child

[CobaltRewind]

We’ve tried for 8 years and this includes a repeated year.

I now have to choose a school for next year and due to the complex needs my child has he is guaranteed a full time 1-1 which is amazing. However whilst this supports his learning needs, his social skills are so very far behind. In 8 years of primary school he hasn’t made a single friend and stands alone at break and lunch time.

I’m thinking the best option for our child is a special needs school which will be less focused on academic performance and ‘being on the rugby team’ and more geared towards his needs. However 😕 I am finding this very hard to process.

I FULLY accept it’s not important what I think but I’m struggling with it. All my children have significant SEN, I’m currently being assessed for ADHD but (not boasting) I have 4 degrees so pre children and really until now, I never thought that I’d have children who didn’t perform academically. I’ll be very vulnerable and say it makes me sad and I don’t know what the future holds for them and if they’ll ever be able to live away from me.

I don’t know what I’m asking here but I would love reassurance that children can thrive in an SEN post primary.

What you are feeling can be normal.

Academics are of little use if DC can’t function in everyday life day life. And remember an EHCP, which I assume DS has, can remain in force until 25, or 26 in some cases, so there is time for academics if that is what is appropriate.

If by next year you mean next academic year, the LA needs to get a move on. They must finalise the phase transfer EHCP by the 15th Feb. If you mean Sept 2026, you don’t have to name your preferred secondary placement yet. Although it’s a good idea to start looking.

If he can achieve academically I wouldn’t take that option away for mythical friends.