Autism and racism/ hygiene obsession...please help.

[daisy5678]

I hope this doesn't offend anyone - it is horrible to write, let alone read, but I need help with this!

J has been getting increasingly obsessive over germs recently. He won't eat near anyone in case they breathe on his food. If a visitor comes to the house, they aren't allowed to sit in 'his' seats and he insists on wiping down anything any other child or adult outside the family touches if they visit.

He had a mixed-race friend round a couple of months ago and was even more offensive than he normally is with others about not sitting near her etc., and was wiping everything she touched, screeching if she touched anything etc.

These two things have somehow become merged into one as he is now refusing to stand near/ sit near/ play with what he calls 'brown people' at school as he doesn't want to 'get dirty'. They had to call me in and were very understanding that he's not trying to be racist but they still had to fill in racist incident forms.

I am mortified and so upset for these other children. What makes it even worse is that I can't see a way to get him out of this idea. I talked to him about how everyone looks different and isn't it nice that we're not all boring and have the same colour skin. I related it to tanning and how people like to get their skin a darker colour because it's pretty.

He said "I want everyone to look the same. Or even have red skin or green skin or blue skin. But brown is the colour of poo and dirt and so it is horrible and I hate it."

He has no concept of empathy, so did not understand when I said that commenting on others' looks can upset them - got v v angry instead because I was being "stupid", so I ended up saying that he will have one of his CDs (his big obsession) taken away if he makes nasty comments about other people's looks again. He is OK at getting that action leads to consequence, so it may solve the problem of saying nasty things (though he is so impulsive that it may not), but it doesn't change the thinking.

I've tried a social story, but he ripped it up and kept saying no, shut up, no. Any ideas, please please please!

sorry no advice as this is not my field(cp is) just didn't want you to feel alone as it sounds so hard to deal with. someone will come along who knows their stuff,
but for now.

Thanks both.

PipinJo - he already sees a consultant psychiatrist pretty much monthly. He's also dx'd with ADHD so he's on Strattera for that, and I don't think they're offering anything more than medication management until he's older and more able to cope with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, for the violence. However, if you think there's something other than current meds or CBT they could offer for this, please tell me and I'll ask the consultant.

Thanks

Oh dear how terribly awkward that the ?OCD has taken such a "racist" turn. SSRIs such as Prozac are also used as well as or in addition to CBT to treat OCD, but position on prescribing to children is never straightforward. Worth discussing with consultant if the OCD behaviour persists though..

Does he like chocolate? Coffee? Gravy? I wonder if finding nice things that are brown might help? Or how about body books which show pictures of internal organs and blood and stuff and show that everyone is the same colour inside?

I will call psych on Tuesday, TC. Thanks.

NineYears - he loves chocolate, so that's a good idea. The body parts things too - will go googling and find some pictures.

Thanks for your help - I will try anything, so any ideas are gratefully received!

What would it consist of?

The psych is very good but I'd like to know what I am asking for in case it's not what is offered!

There is a children's book that I bought that is about people with darker skin. I don't know the name right now as it is packed away after a move. I bought it to read to my grandchildren. The thought presented in the book is that people are such lovely colors--Sara is the color of nutmeg, Annie the color of cinnamon, Joey the color of cocoa.

Ooooh, Hansiemom, if you could think of the title, I'd be really interested. I just googled those names but can't find anything.

I looked up my order history at Amazon. BTW, I just made up the names in my message.

The book is entitled The Color Of Us, by Karen Katz. Here is the editorial review from Amazon.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal
PreSchool-Grade 2 Lena's mother is an artist, so she knows whereof she speaks when she insists that there are many different shades of brown. The two take a walk through their neighborhood by way of illustration, and the friends and relatives they meet along the way aptly reinforce Mom's contention. Their skin colors are compared to honey, peanut butter, pizza crust, ginger, peaches, chocolate, and more, conjuring up delicious and beautiful comparisons for every tint. Katz's pencil-and-gouache pictures joyously convey the range of human pigmentation. Positive and useful. Miriam Lang Budin, Chappaqua Public Library, NY
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist
Lena discovers that she and her friends and neighbors are all beautiful shades of brown. "I am the color of cinnamon. Mom says she could eat me up," says Lena. Then she sees everyone else in terms of delicious foods: Mom is the color of French toast. Lena's friend Sonia is the color of creamy peanut butter. Isabella is chocolate brown like the cupcakes they had for her birthday. Lena's best friend, Jo-Jin, is the color of honey. Katz wrote and illustrated the story in affirmation of her adopted Guatemalan daughter and her friends, and the diversity that surrounds them. The message is heavy, but it's made palatable by the loving words and the brightly colored, lively illustrations, which are a combination of collage, gouache, and colored pencil. The pictures of Lena and her friends and city neighbors celebrate the delicious colors of the individual people, all brown, and each one different. Hazel Rochman --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.