7yo weeing in pullup when awake in evening

[Onthefence87]

DD is 7 (in process of ASD/ADHD assessment) is on many occasions urinating in her pullup in the evenings, whilst awake before going to sleep.
I am getting really irritated with it if I'm honest...she controls her bladder absolutely fine during the day.She wets the pullup every night whilst asleep still, which we would never make her feel bad about it as obviously she cannot help that and measures we have tried to prevent it haven't really worked out.

But this evening wetting really frustrates me....she is 8 in March and it just doesn't seem right for her to be weeing consciously in a pullup whilst fully awake....if it is a conscious thing, but I don't see how it can't be?

She has been under the enuresis team for the bedwetting who I spoke to about this issue, but didn't really have any answers, although they did think it was likely a purposeful choice.We have tried ignoring it, matter of factly calmly just saying go get changed without making a big deal of it, using bribes and consequences and praising her for not doing it....sometimes we have got annoyed with her about it, especially as pyjama pants are bloody expensive!

What can I do to stop this? Has anyone has similar issues with a child this age?
I have tried using no pullup and a bed mat but we just have her waking up in the middle of the night covered in wee and needing changing/washing down and the bed stripped.

Any advice much appreciated.

It could be a conscious choice but it may not be. It may be once the pull up is on the feel of needing the toilet is different and DD isn’t recognising it. Is DD fully emptying her bladder before putting the first pull up of the night on?

My DD who’s 9 uses Drynites Pj pants (pull ups) at night too for bed wetting and she does the exact same thing!! So don’t worry you are not alone in dealing with this. 😊 I manage the situation by making sure I only give her a pull up just before bed, it’s the last thing we do in her bedtime routine.

I wouldn’t have thought we are alone in having bed wetting children that use and abuse their pull ups like this given the chance, I think most will be lazy with them. I admit I myself turn a blind eye to the fact that my DD will have a sneaky wee in it after she wakes up in the morning, I know it’s no accident when she does this! It’s going straight in the bin anyway before she has her morning shower so I don’t mind as much, picking my battles as we do. I draw the line though at her doing it before bed (being in it all night) and she knows there will be punishments (iPad time removed) if she does this.

I honestly believe if we did a survey of pull up wearing bedwetters, they would admit to using them on purpose out of laziness at least once? So don’t worry too much, kids will be kids after all and I’m sure our children won’t be doing this in their 20s 😅

Thanks soo much for your sympathetic and kind reply....you have no idea how good it feels to hear us and DD are not alone in this!!
Does your DD have ADHD/ASD?
Funnily enough, the incontinence clinic rung today and the lady told me how their team went to an incontinence event with ERIC and Drynites and there was some research done where they took the pullups away for 14 nights with a group of children and although there was wetting initially, by the 14th night many were dry.
I'm thinking of maybe biting the bullet and trying that for the bedwetting....DD has started waking abit in the night when it's wet and changing it herself recently which is progress so maybe meaning she is becoming more aware.
If that doesn't work, I will do what you suggest about putting it on last thing at night.I think the incontinence team did recommend that but I was worried about forgetting to put it on her! But could always set an alarm or something I guess.

Yes you could be right! It's so hard to tell.I think once she did say something along those lines about the feel of it.
To be honest whilst she never wets herself in the day she needs reminders to go and I can see her holding it in.Again, hard to know if this is that she can't be bothered to go, or that she genuinely doesn't link up in her brain that her body needs to until she is really desperate (she often rushes to go) She usually always goes as part of her bedtime routine.

When DD goes to the toilet as part of her bedtime routine, is she fully emptying her bladder? Or is she rushing and not fully emptying? Some DC do the latter and need reminding.

You are most welcome 🤗 my DD has never been diagnosed but has some mild ADHD traits, I believe she may have it on a mild scale.

That research is interesting, however my older DD went through this and became dry by age 10 and no longer wanted to wear Drynites, so I’m holding off until then. I believe she will become dry in her own time, just like her sister. I don’t want to cause her any undue stress by taking the pants off her when she clearly needs them. Our routine is that she goes for a wee before bed and then after she has done one or at least tried to go, I then give her the pull up. You could maybe set an alarm on your phone for her bedtime to remind you, that’s what I do if we are away and our routine is less smooth.

But honestly you are 1000% not alone with her weeing them on purpose. I’ve just asked my 13 year old DD and she turned bright red but admitted to me that she did that too when she wore them, if she couldn’t be bothered to get up out of bed for a wee or before showing in the morning. 🙈 So there you are and I thought she used to use them strictly in the night by accident, so guess she has a lazy bone too as most children do. She also said it was like a perk because it was embarrassing wearing them so why not enjoy a perk of occasionally using them while feeling lazy, I suppose I can see her logic!

However if your DD is doing it every night before bed, then that’s an extremely bad habit that I would prevent by giving her the pull up after she’s tried to wee on the loo first and only once she is ready to go to sleep I also reminded my DD that she only gets one pull up per night (obviously if she wakes in the night and it’s leaked etc that’s an exception).

Dies your DD also use it on purpose in the morning too like mine? 🙄

sorry for waffling on 🤣 I didn’t realise how much I’d typed!

Have you tried washable incontinence underwear? Ds hated how it felt when he wet them. That's ultimately what led him to toilet train.

Possibly not....she does rush about.I will make sure to keep an eye on that.

That makes sense....you have to do what feels right for you as a family :)

Yeah I do tend to set alarms for alot of things so will try that if needed 😅

That's interesting your older daughter said that! I know my DD had admitted to weeing it when she woke up before, but no idea for sure if she still does that...I don't think she does regularly as most of the time I wake her up as she is not a morning person, haha, and she has a wet pullup.

Dd had her first night without a pullup on last night....used the toilet fine in the evening and surprisingly woke up dry despite not being up til 8am today (DH and I had prepared for getting up in the middle of the night to change the bedding and clean up) However not holding my breath as when we took the pullup away before we had a few dry nights then constant wetting.We will see what happens though....she was very excited and proud of herself and has independently started using the sticker chart the incontinence clinic gave us.Her 3yo sister has been dry at night since potty training at 2.5, so I think she is keen to crack it too as she wants to be the same.

Will keep you updated!

No I haven't! Might be worth a try thankyou

Awww well done to your DD 🥳 I hope this continues. Please keep me updated as like I said before he research is interesting and after giving it some thought, I might give it a go. 😊

Unfortunately my DD is not well and is off school with the worst sickness bug I have seen yet. The Drynites are very much needed at the moment as she was not making it to the loo and soiling her knickers attempting it all of yesterday, bless her. I’ve never been in this situation before and the initial washing was overwhelming until I thought, why not just keep her in the pull ups until her doctors appointment tomorrow. I’m so glad we have the pull ups in the house, otherwise I’d be a 24/7 laundry operative. 🤯😤

Hope everything goes ok for you and the dry nites continue 🤞🤗

Aww thankyou- unfortunately myself and DH had a horrible flu- virus thing last week and she had two nights of being up in the middle of the night as she had wet the bed, it was everywhere and as we didn't feel well was just too much trying to keep sorting it all out.And it was disturbing her sleep too cleaning her and the bed up.
We have decided to hold off doing the 14 night trial until Feb half term when she has a block of time off school, so she doesn't have too many nights of interrupted sleep with school the next day.

So sorry your daughter has been unwell, that sounds like a horrid bug and yes definitely they struggle when their ill with that sort of thing don't they.
I hope she is feeling better now!

I will definitely check in next month to let you know how we get on with DD.....do let me know how you do aswell if you decided to bite the bullet and give things a go.