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AuDHD 5 year old sleep.

4 replies

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 29/12/2024 23:23

DS5 is on 4mg melatonin at night and generally goes of to sleep reasonably. I sit in with him until he’s asleep which is usually within 15 mins of lights off. Got a good routine in place for bedtime.

However, once he wakes (anytime from 10pm but might be midnight on a good night) he doesn’t want to be in his bed and if we enforce it then he has an epic meltdown. Waking DD up, so loud that neighbours text to see if we’re ok, getting himself in a state and of course nobody gets any sleep.

we spent months and months putting him back to bed with all of the above and it was awful. Everyone was exhausted and distressed. So we went the other way and bought ourselves a bigger bed so that he could sleep with us when he wakes.

in some ways it works - we all sleep, which is the main thing. But it means our evenings aren’t our own, we can’t watch a whole film for example. We don’t get to have sex at night (either a quickie downstairs before he wakes, or we take our lunch breaks together to do it then!).

I just don’t know what to do for the best. Wait for him to grow out of it? With no idea of how many years that could take. Or take a different approach? And any suggestions appreciated. I don’t want DS to be distressed but at some stage we would like to reclaim our bed.

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mumofoneAlonebutokay · 30/12/2024 00:33

Just came to express solidarity and look for ideas

My dd is also 5 with autism. She takes over two hours to go down in her own bed and then comes into mine after a few hours

I'm single 🤭 so it's not so bad I guess. I gave up on putting her back into her bed as I'm simply too exhausted

Currently we are out of routine and awake, so doing everything wrong atm 🥺🥺

BrightYellowTrain · 30/12/2024 12:17

DS1 is a teen and we still co-sleep for part of the night, either in his bed with him or he comes in with us. We have tried numerous things. None have solved the issue for us. The current set up works best so far.

There are other medications you could try as well or instead of melatonin. However, I am not sure you will get anyone to prescribe them if DS is sleeping, albeit in bed with you. If DC wake before midnight, some people find giving a second dose of melatonin works.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 01/01/2025 21:39

Thanks both.

No, I don’t really suppose medication will really help as once he’s asleep with us he sleeps like a log most nights. Only unsettled if it’s been a terrible day or he’s poorly etc.

it really does feel like him bringing in with us is the best option for now. I just wish it was around the 11-12 o’clock mark each night that he transitions, as 9.30 is when we’ve just finally sat down after getting all the chores done! Ah well…

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CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 01/01/2025 23:56

I’ve been thinking about the apparent low oxytocin levels in people with ASD and ADHD, and the oxytocin boost that apparently happens when sleeping next to someone.

maybe that has something do with it, a need for oxytocin.

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