Shout out to the "terrible" parents with SEN children!

[FancyRedRobin]

Just this.
Another year of family judgement of kiddo having an ASD meltdown. Doubt over his diagnosis. Offering no support, just judgement.
They see him about four times a year and sh!t on me and my parenting wherever they get a chance.
Have felt like crying all day.

I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope your kiddo had a nice Christmas despite the meltdowns. Tomorrow is a new day and there will be less noise and out of routine stuff that they may find overwhelming.
It’s sad when the world chooses to judge instead of help ❤️
I found Christmas hard as well, many more tantrums than usual and this awful feeling that no matter what I do my youngest will never enjoy Christmas

Thanks so much @BetaMom . I guess this year has really consolidated for me that I should choose to do Christmas in a way that works for my neurodivergent family, instead of trying to fit them into everyone else's expectations because to be honest, no one ends up happy.
I think sometimes we are trying to give them something (a "typical" Christmas) which is actually what they don't need or want.
I hope you enjoy the next few days as the comfort of routines comes back into play. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Xxx

Definitely use it as a turning point. We pared back Christmas this year and it has been so much nicer.

Everyone has been chilled out and mooching about together / time on their own whenever. Only one meltdown from 8yo who massively struggles with any 'special' days. We even let him help wrap one of his 'from us' presents so he wasn't anxious about whether or not he would get it, when we have mentioned that to people we have been told we ruined his Christmas. Smile and nod, you know what works for your family.

I'm sorry your wider family are crap, says more about them really.

@WasThatACorner your Christmas sounds heavenly. Definitely going to kill off the people pleaser in me because it's not helping me or my family.
I feel like I've been put in the position of having to choose between my child and them and it's a no brainer tbh.
Thanks to you both @BetaMom for replying, no one gets it unless they live it.

Absolutely, the people pleaser needs to go.

Funnily, I've pleased all of my people by not pushing the Perfect Christmas on them all.

I hope you have some nice low-key plans to enjoy over the next few days.

sadly I am no contact with my dad, who was extremely critical of my parenting.
He made comments like: in my days, nobody had autism. Now everyone has a diagnosis.

He also wouldn’t let my child use the paddling pool, which is a lifeline for him to regulate.
Lots of judgement on restrictive eating.

so hard and stressful and he made me a worse mum to be around my dad

sadly no contact since last summer

I'm really sad to hear that @CyclingMumKent.
I feel such a chronic lack of confidence in my parenting and recently things had started looking up and my kid was happier, doing better.
Then the comments and lecturing began again from family.
Maybe I just need to find my tribe, rather than looking for support from people who don't want to give it.