Dilemma on child's school

[NeurodivergentFamily]

Looking for some advice on potentially transferring DD, age 9, to a new primary school. I'm absolutely torn on what is the right thing to do.

DD is autistic, achieving academically but a pro masker and comes home most days completely dysregulated and melts down. Constant stories about things that have gone wrong at school.

School she is currently at - two form entry, about 24 in her class. She likes her teacher well enough and has one very close friend. There are lots of reports of bullying in her class, she tells me the classroom is very noisy as a lot of the children shout at each other and make each other cry. The teacher is newly qualified and I think still finding her feet. However they are well resourced e.g. sensory space, pastoral staff etc. SENCO won't put her on the SEN register as "she doesn't need support in school".

School we're considering moving her to - small village school, mixed classes. She would be in a class of 28 children Y4-6 but they do lots of small group work. Very nurturing staff and has been recommended by the council for their SEN provision. Her sister (also autistic) goes to this school and they do everything possible to support her even though she is also a masker.

My biggest fear is taking her away from a school that is familiar and her best friend, will she find it difficult to make new friends? Should we pull her out if it's not what she wants, even though we are fairly confident the small school will suit her better?

And will she find it then even harder to transition to a large secondary, coming from such a small school?

Any advice, especially from those who have transferred children mid primary school would be really appreciated!!

Help!

That’s a difficult one. I’m not sure there is one right answer that applies to all without the benefit of hindsight.

Moving could be very difficult socially. In some ways a small school can be easier but in other ways it can sometimes be difficult socially especially if DD made friends with a child who is older and will leave for secondary before her. What is the girl:boy ratio? If there’s only a few girls of similar age, some find that a problem.

Has DD1 visited the school? Does she already know anyone who would be in her class? Is the classroom any quieter - some village primary schools have terrible acoustics?

Have you spoken to the SENCO at the potential new school? What support will they offer? You would want to make sure you weren’t jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Is DD being bullied or is it ‘just’ going on around her?

Do pupils from both schools go to the same secondary school? If not, which primary school do pupils from your preferred secondary school go to and how realistic is it you will be offered s place at that secondary?

If you decide to remain at the current school, request a meeting with the SENCO. DD1 clearly does need more support otherwise you wouldn’t be experiencing the coke bottle effect.

You could also consider requesting an EHCNA.