dd (sld) completely obsessed with her brother...

[oiFoiF]

is this pretty normal? She seems to have her strongest relationship attachment with him to the point of obsessiveness. They have a strong relationship anyway but she is getting inconsable if he isnt here now and its just becoming a nightmare. He has gone out to play with one of his friends and she has hysterically cried for an hour. The type of crying where you cannot catch your breath whilst shoutng 'wheres x? wheres x?' over and over. They share a bedroom and they need to be split up really but I am worried she will not accept being split up from him either.

I just wondered if it was quite normal and what we can do really to make it easier for them both?

My friend's dd is like this. (The friend I've told you about a lot). About the same age difference as your 2.

I'd ask for access to clinical psychology - its the sort of thing they can help untangle etc.

the one whose husband works away alot?

what do they do in clinical psychology?

I am just worried it will escalate iykwim and he isnt exactly going to want her tagging along with him forever (he seems quite flattered atm)

DS2 Is very similar, DS1 is tolerant atm, the school are working hard to try & encourage ds2 to be less dependent on ds1 at school at least.
DS2 mimics exactly what ds1 says, if we tell ds1 off we have to say the same EXACTLY t ds2 otherwise he's hysterical.
He also needs to know were ds1 is at all times.
We are fortunate that because ds2 is a lover of rules he is OK for them to be separated if there is a clear purpose eg different school classes. But if ds1 has a day off school or is on a trip we see an instant change in ds2.

That's the one.

Clinical psychs should come and observe (at home preferably if the problem is there) and then produce a solution They can help with things like social stories, give you behavioural advice, collaberate in producing a plan of action etc. They can be really helpful - if you get a good one.

mymatemax, she is fine to go off to school as they are at seperate schools and this has always been the case. She is also happy to be taken out without ds1. The thing she isnt happy with is either a change of routine, like yesterday when she came home ill she asked for ds1 ALL DAY until he came home. Or if ds1 is taken out of the home, with friends or otherwise. She is just so inconsable. I have tried explaining to her but she cant comprhend what has happened.

Also lots of nightime issues. This weekend we are apparently going to try and move 'their' bedroom. I think we are going to have to keep them together for now though even though their rooms will be set up seperate iywkim

yurt do i talk to school about this? I have an appointment with a paed this morning actually I suppose i could mention it to them..

Yes ask paed or school - both should be able to refer. If you have any student clinical psychs they can be good as well as sometimes they're looking for a 'project' and might come and do lots of sessions (friend had this to help her dd prepare for periods - it was REALLY helpful)

DS1 used to be like that with ds3. The first few times he was out when he got home from school he was really upset!