I am very angry and need advice on how to deal with this(cod and twiglet needed)

[mshadowsisfab]

dd goes to a sn school. small school from 3-19. and respite is in the grounds.
I run the yahoo group it is very small but used to be well used. we got a new mum who asked advice about respite. one of the members who is a govenor. took it on herself to take the mums concerns to the head of care!! so now group is as dead as a dodo.
fast foreward to november I mention at dd's anual review that I am not happy with prize giveing. head of school fobs me of with "write a letter" I do and get invited to be part of a working party to make changes.
govenor sends out newsletter. in it she talks about suggested changes. so i email her saying I thought i was going to be in the working party(can't remeber what else I said) turns out that was just the teachers talk,
today I get a letter from head of school saying that he has been sent a copy of the eamil I sent the govonor!!!!
this was a private email.
I am furious
what so I do??

Sorry but I don't understand the bit about the group being dead due to the governors interest

I think you need to make a complaint about how they are dealing with your concerns. Was the email a complaint about the head of school?

I'm guessing the yahoo group is dead because members no longer trust the things they post on there to remain confidential.

Is the governor who forwarded the e-mail the same one who spoke to the head of care about the yahoo group stuff?

Oh yes of course - I knew I was being dense

so basically there is a conflict of interest - that you and others think you are talking to this lady in her capacity as a parent of kid with SN, whereas she seems to think you are talking to her in her capacity as governor, so she is free to blab to school staff. now I no bugger all about governor's duties/confidentiality etc, so all I can suggest is you saying that you hadn't intended for your comments to be forwarded to the head, and for it to be a private e-mail, and that unless you say otherwise, communications from you are not to be forwarded to school staff without your permission.

sorry I kind of ranted so it got confusing.
the trouble with the yahoo group is that although the mum is a memeber as a mum, people do ask her stuff as govenor and I think the boundrys have got blurred.
TotalChaos you have given me an idea I will email and let her know i am not happy and suggest that she asks before she repeats stuff,

Any ideas how I can get the yahoo group back up and running(don't want to ask the mum to leave as she is nice)

Perhaps you could agree groundrules. E.G no-one should discuss posts/threads outside of the group unless asked to.

Does she realise that the group died because she broke someones confidence?

wish me luck I have emailed her.

Good luck

well
I emailed her. I was not rude. just let her know that I was shocked by what she had done.
in her reply she said she thought I was just giving feed back(which means she copied my email I sent to the group not the one I sent to her) and that she doesn't have time to chck all the emails.
her las line was.... "Perhaps you would like to take over the role that I am obviously not doing correctly."

I read out the email I sent her before I sent it to dh. he said it was polite and ok!!!
so thats that.

I must say, I'd be tempted to email back "ok. Thanks. When do I start?"

But I'm childish

i have now started a new school group. new name and stated it has no connection to the school and nothing will be repeated to the school. fingers crossed this will solve the problem

Sounds like she realised she had made a mistake so got all defensive.

I hope the new group goes well

I am so pleased. I named it after the mum who started the original on(well her ds's name..he died) and she was the first to join

hello just seen this

I don't know what to advise.

The following might be of interest though, in case of any 'informal discussions'

1. A governor (assume she's a parent governor) is NOT a representative of the parents, they are a parent representative. It is difficult to understand but basically means it is not up to the governor to put forward parent's concerns to the school

2. Operational issues should be dealt with by the senior management team and not by governors

To me it sounds as though the governor has the wrong end of the stick about her role and the head is backing her

your msn group is a separate issue and I think she has acted dishonorably tbh ..

We had the same situation but luckily the mum/trustee is VERY careful, even though her good nature gets abused sometimes by other parents expecting her to sort everything out. We have very clear and firm ground rules as Dustystar suggested and these go out to every potential and new member. However, you can't stop anyone sharing private group emails if they want. On the whole the messages are not that interesting, mostly Summer Fair, Inset Day plans to get together etc.

thanks all. I am hoping that by starting the new group. with firm boundries. everyone will know where they stand.
fingers crossed.