I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! (sorry long)

[loopyredangel]

I am not sure where I should have posted this message, but rather than replicate it, I have the link below.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/8/522480

My son was virtually identical to this, so I know how wearing it is. He was diagnosed with ADHD and autism...not that that means that your son has either, but there are a couple of things in your description that are unusual and so it's worth checking with your health visitor and/ or GP, who should be able to refer you to a peadiatrician if necessary. Write down a lost of the things that you are concerned about and take them so that you don't forget.

I think it's good to get things checked as early as possible, just to reassure you or to get started on finding an answer. Good luck.

Thank you so much! I have had my suspicions! Will get to the bottom of it I am sure, I am awaiting an appointment, but doctor said they may not assess him as he is so young! Not sure how quick the appointment will come through. I wondered if there is anything I can do in the meantime with DS behaviour and how to manage it whilst I wait for appointment.

I know there are others on here who've had children diagnosed before 3. It is very possible. I don't know what to suggest as different things work for different people, but my son needed very clear routine and structure, as well as clear rewards and consequences. Visual timelines worked OK, as well as visuals / sand timers to count down/ tell him what was happening and well. Timeout out in the garder on a trampoline worked when my son was a little older. Stickers worked well, regularly and for anything I could find to praise him for. Plus really reinforcing why the good behaviour was good. Keeping language very simple, especially instructions. Not saying it all worked, mind you!

what was happening and WHEN not WELL!

Our ds1 was diagnosed with ASD he was 2.3, a lot of the things you described could be because of sensory integration difficulties. A book 'The Out Of Synch Child' is really good at explaining these kinds of things.

What givemesleep said is also v v true and important; reinforcing good behaviour consistently, and not giving attention to bad behaviour - easier said than done I know!

agree with the good advice given by the ladies. Only thing I will add - try and find out where he has been referred to and phone them up to find out the usual waiting list time. I imagine it would be either a child development centre or the community paediatric department based in your local hospital/children's hospital. Reason I say this is my area had the lousy practice of having a year waiting list, so not bother to give you an appointment date till a month in advance

Hi, second advice given so far.
On a practical note, Ds (now 8 with SLD ADHD and ASD traits) hated nappy changes and was very agressive and angry - so we changed nappies standing up with pull up style nappies (with tear apart sides for removal)and ds hands on my shoulders. (Washable mat underneath). It was better for my (bad) back and kept his legs out of harms way. Holding on to balance keeps fists busy.
We attached everthing that could be climbed on to walls, or removed them. Dh rounded off corners, put protective film on windows, high locks on all doors, dog gate across kitchen (taller than baby gate), higher fencing round garden.
Ds sensory needs (hense smearing and licking) can be redirected to water play in the bath (with baby massage cream if needed), playdough, blutac (when old enough not to choke on it), tactile clothing. HTH

oh my god maryz, my little boy craves sugary things all the time!!! That would be great if you could find out the name of the book. Thanks ladies, I now feel that I am NOT just imagining things. Thanks for the tips also, will have a go with everything advised. xxxxxxxxxxx

Things are getting worse, or maybe its just the fact we are taking more notice - nappy time has become much more violent to the point he his throwing himself around the room! It's heartbreaking, we don't know what to do with hinm anymore. We had a little break away, and the first tday was quite traumatic for him. He just hummed nearly all day and kept repeating things, behaviour just got worse but on the 3rd day he seemed to be coping better as long as he got to do the same things over and over again, which was fine by us. We have now decided to buy a chalet on the site, and whenever we go away we can go there so it is familiar to him, and we will decorate it similiar to home. Yesterday was so hard, because Daddy had to go back to work, having major separation anxiety, because DS had him for 4 whole days and undivided attention! Nappy time was horrendous, he kicked screamed so scared, he said he was frightened of me, that I am rubbish and put me in the bin! I just crumbled! I just hope we see someone soon.

Hi Loopy, sorry things seem to have taken a turn for the worse! It sounds very upseting for you.
Do you think the change in routine with the holiday have upset him? (in which case a few days of routine again may help).Changes in routine were particularly difficult for my ds at that age ( hes still not great with them). We also decided on a regular holiday home and ds sees it as his second home now.
I dont know what to suggest because I dont know why he is finding nappy change difficult either - does he not like his nappy put in the rubbish perhaps? Is it the smell he dislikes or the feel of a dry nappy or the (feel/smell) cream or the mat or lying down perhaps? Do you need to warn him of changes with a countdown on the timer? Would letting him watch tv after help? Sorry grabbing at straws!
Hope you get a referral soon.

The description of your ds on your other thread sounds like a cross between my 2 boys at that age. Ds1 was dx'ed with ASD at 3.5yrs. Ds2 was assessed just after his 2nd birthday and dx'ed with AS.

I remember the nightmare of nappy changes. It seemed to be less stressful for my two if they were changed while standing up. With ds2 it generally involved chasing him around the house with a clean nappy because he found it impossible to stay still long enough.

Things that helped were either warnings that something was going to happen (like Magso's timer suggestion) or letting them know in simple language that something good would follow the nappy change, eg "Nappy then sticker" or "Nappy then car". You could also try using a picture/symbol card of a nappy and then showing it to your ds so that he can see what is going to happen.

I also agree with checking to find out how long the waiting list is for an appointment/assessment.

Thanks again so much for your support. My health visitor is getting back to me tomorrow, she is chasing things up to find out about our referral. I do think the holiday upset him quite alot (and he didn't know how to deal with it). Yesterday he said he wanted his poo back, and that he was frightened! Tonight again he didn't like his hair, wanted it off and asked for fat hair!!! Bathtime was horrendous, when usually Thomas loves his bathtime. I ahve just bought the Out of Sync book from amazon, managed to get through some of it and so far it rings alot of bells. Sometimes though he will let us change his nappy! I am thinking of making a chart in pink (his fav colour) and taking photos of DS doing tasks and sticking them on, so its more visual for him to understand! Might add some tactile things to it, and hooks so he can add a hanging star or something when he completes the task.