Awaiting Autism assessment 9yr old DD - won't sleep

[ineedtowomanup]

My 9 year old DD is awaiting an autism assessment. We have been accepted for an assessment just waiting for a date.

Where I am struggling every night is sleep, she refuses to go to sleep. It started I believe with anxiety, DH used to put her to sleep, they'd have a story, a prayer but it'd all take about an hour and DH started complaining he didn't have an evening. So I took over and I've tried so many things it's been a year now:

I make up stories, I use real characters, toys in her room, we've tried affirmation cards about not being scared as she's very anxious and scared.

This evening she is full of cold and just refusing to go to sleep although she's exhausted. Every evening I've had to pretend to go to sleep with her and stay with her until she falls sleep. This starts at 8pm, there are tanturms, then she self regulates by drawing or playing in her room and then we start again. Sometimes she can't self regulate so I distract her by playing catch or playing with her toes. She's a young 9 year old although I think she knows she's young she knows what her friends are into and she knows she still loves Frozen, Peppa and Unicorns.

Whereas her friends are in Sephora.

What can I do to improve the night routine - I've spoken to her about writing a list of what she'd like to do but she doesn't want to.

Every night now I spend hours with her from 8-11 until maybe around 10 she falls asleep: I've tried headspace, I've tried breathing, I've tried just leaving her and she's still awake at midnight, then she won't go to school in the morning, I don't know where to go for support,

Please help.

What time does she get up in the morning and does she get any sunlight in the morning?
How much exercise does she get every day?
What is her diet like?
How cold is her bedroom?
what time is her last screen time?

Hello thank you for your response:

What time does she get up in the morning and does she get any sunlight in the morning? She's up at 7am and we need to leave for school at 8am. She hates the uniform. It's a prep school with a thick skirt

How much exercise does she get every day?
She is very sporty, plays hockey and netball as it's a prep school it's about 6 hours of sport in school she also dances outside of school, swims outside of school and plays netball out side of school

What is her diet like?

Diet is generally good, she eats maybe eggs, tomato, weetabix or occasionally cheerios

School dinners she's not keen on

At home she'll have curries, stir fries etc maybe a biscuit. Various fruits. Won't drink water but will drink squash and milk.

How cold is her bedroom? Bedroom is about 20 degrees
what time is her last screen time? Last screen time she doesn't have iPad during the week. On a weeknight she has porridge before bed and watches telly so about 8pm for last screen time.

So at least an hour of exercise a day and sun on her skin in the morning, no blue light (tv/ipad etc) at least an hour before bed, a warm bath and then a drop in temperature in her bedroom, plus enough food is all basic stuff (and it sounds like you are hitting most of those). It might be worth googling “sleep hygiene” and seeing if there’s anything you’ve missed.

I would say sugary drinks aren’t great, so would try and promote water.

You can request a referral to a sleep clinic or paeds to discuss medication to aid sleep. This might be a shorter wait than the wait for the ASD assessment.

Some other things some people find helpful include white noise, dreampad pillow, brushing, worry book and elastic band method.

@Ohthatsabitshit the squash she drinks is sugar free, she does have some water too, at school she can only drink water. But will work on encouraging more water.

I have thought about a sleep clinic, the affirmation cards worked for a bit. I think it's anxiety,