DD doesn't want diagnoses. How to approach?

[Anothernamechane]

Dd11 has her first appointment with Educational Psychologist tomorrow and tonight has become very upset and says she doesn't want to speak with them and doesn't want to know if she is ND.

We've waited a long time for this appointment and referral came after me pushing school for referral for several years. I suspect ASD but it's not clear cut. DD has symptoms which could partially fit with an ASD, ADHD or Dyspraxia diagnosis. The most difficult symptom for her presents socially. She doesn't have any close friends, feels she doesn't fit in and is very insecure about people not liking her.

It's difficult for her to express why she doesn't want a diagnosis other than she doesn't want to be different and wants a normal high school experience. Reassurance around how diagnosis might help her understand herself better and support she might be able to access isn't helping.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? She's going to high school next year and I do think it'll help as she's behind academically- especially with maths.

Does DD know a diagnosis won’t change who she is and she will still be the same person? Sounds obvious but some DC don’t realise that.

This may be anxiety about the appointment rather than a true wish not to be assessed and diagnosed if appropriate. The strategies you would use when DD is anxious about other things may help.

If all else fails, at 11, I wouldn’t be averse to bribery.