Querying autism

[Milomiles123]

Hi I wondered if anyone could maybe share their experience with autism and children? Since my child was born he’s always seemed ‘different’ to other children. As a baby he was never happy always screaming to excess, barely slept and was never content no matter what. From a few weeks old he would not feed (formula). We tried everything but he ended up needing an ng tube. This continued with food and has never been great with it. As he’s grown up I’ve noticed things that are red flags to me but some things are conflicting which leave me confused so I was wondering if anyone had any opinions? He’s 14months for reference.
At his one year check he also scored quite badly on the ASQ and the lady said she wanted to come back at 18months after seeing him spinning wheels most the visit and not responding to his name.

Things that concern me:
-not responding to name (on the odd occasion he will but I think it’s more than the sound rather than the name itself)
-barely eats/ very fussy
-doesn’t really engage with children but does notice them kind off / will glance over at them
-stands on his head a lot
-OBSESSED with spinning ANYTHING even down to the pumpkin lid when I tried to carve one with him haha
-shakes head side to side, not constantly but often
-doesn’t play with toys in a typical way at all
-obsessed with throwing things on wooden floor repeatedly, like hours of the day to see them bounce/hear the noise
-will pace up and down all day
-loves the telly so much
-doesn’t point
-doesn’t look when I point
-uninterested in playing with me
-chews/puts everything in his mouth excessively
-very very rigid play, only spinning/throwing/pacing/banging objects/chasing balls
-obsessed with banging objects either together or on things round the house or with his hand
-doesnt wave
-doesn’t talk
-no pretended play
-he does babble but its very repetitive dadadada over and over and over
-every noise he makes is very repetive ie blowing raspberries constantly
-very bad temper
-not very cuddly/dislikes being touched except for tickles/being picked up
-obsessed with climbing. If he’s on the couch or similar he’ll walk backwards and forwards on it for absolutely ages
-absolutely no fear will dive head first off anything
-has to have two of the same toy in each hand. For example he likes his wooden blocks to bang together. He has a vast assortment of shapes but will always manage to get two of the same shape. He also likes the small plastic balls again all different colours. Will always have 2 of the same colour.
-doesn’t sleep well, multiple wakes through the night
-likes to wave toys in a particular way in front of his face
-would always rather play with household objects than toys
-only really likes toys that make a certain sound on the floor when he throws them

Things I find contradicting
-gives kisses to me
-has okay eye contact with me
-loves peekaboo
-very smiley with me
-hit all his physical milestones early
-doesn’t flap hands or twirl feet

thank you for reading, sorry I know it’s long. I’ve come a little obsessed trying to figure out whether his behaviour is normal or not. Autism does run in the family. I know I’m probably over thinking but I can’t help but be concerned 😣

Whether it is autism, something else or nothing, I think there is enough to warrant further investigation/monitoring. If you still have concerns when the HV reviews at 18 months, I would push for a referral.

Once DS is 16 months, you could look at the M-CHAT.

Have a look at ARFID. Is DS still partially tube fed? How much is DS eating now? Is he still under dietician/paed?

@BrightYellowTrain thank you for responding ☺️
I'm inclined to agree, maybe he's just different but when in a room of other children he stands out so much, well to me anyway. The HV did say maybe he's just a sensory seeker? As he also like being dangled upside down, span and shook. In a playful way of course. I have already done the MCHAT, although a little early, he scored 16 I believe. Something il definitely do again in the future.
He's no longer tube fed as he is managing to maintain his weight. Sometimes he will eat okay but more often than not we have weeks of refusal and his main source of diet is still formula, even then he only manages a few ounces each bottle but does have 3 in the day and up to 3 in the night.
He was dischanged from paeds once the tube was removed, but under dietician and OT for feeding. Although I think we've been discharged from OT as he had a good spell of eating however we're back to no food again 🤦‍♀️
I'll have a look into ARFID but as he sometiems will eat quite well I'm not sure he has it, he just has a complete disinterest in food he's not bothered by it at all

I would request another referral to paeds or maybe a specialist eating/feeding service.

@BrightYellowTrain thank you ☺️

I would say it does sound like your son is autistic. So many points on your concerns list hits the autism checklist that I’m surprised the HV didn’t offer to refer onwards then and there.

My eldest is 3 and I didn’t see how obvious his neurodiversity was until I had my second child. Then it was very very clear that my eldest wasn’t typically developing.

I’m afraid I’ve no experience of the food issues but many of the other things you have listed about your son were true of my son at that age - very sensitive emotionally, poor sleeper, spinning everything, no pointing or joint attention, speech delay, and the throwing blocks/ rings etc on our wooden floor to hear all the noises and see them bounce (he adored that). I also could see he was different to the other children his age but others thought I was just being anxious. He is now 6 and has an autism diagnosis (and is a wonderful little boy, thriving in mainstream with support!) I would certainly push for a referral after the next HV visit.

Search autism survival guide podcast- you can email in for free advice

@Moriquendi thank you for your response!
There are so many but sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to see things now 🤦‍♀️the HV said that cause he's so young they couldn't do anything for him and we need to wait to see how things go, which has left me stressing everyday.
It shows up so much around other children doesn't it, it's not till we're around our friends, families children that you see quite how different he behaves.

@Peelspeelspeels thank you for replying! This does describe my boy perfectly! Especially the rings too I didn't mention that but he loves throwing/hearing them! Amazing to hear how well he's doing! I certainly will be pushing I know how hard it can be to be heard around these issues.
Can I ask, did your child play peekaboo and smile ect? These things really throw me off! He also claps, but to excess I wonder if this is like a stim for him maybe but maybe I'm looking too hard haha

@Musicprime thank you I definitely will 😊

I think given all youve said, and if i match it off with my dd who now just turned 3, she got diagnosed at 2.5 with about half of those pointers.
I worried my head off when i first got an inkling at 18 months but i feel much better now.
First stop, go to the GP and say your concerns, and then theyll refer you to the child development team. That's a fast track to get a diagnoses. In the meantime , apply for DLA, as you can without a diagnosis. This will help you if he later goes to nursery or even with SLT, as my dd is getting now.
The first check they'll do is for hearing, to rule any ENT issues.
Its better to know than not know as you can put early intervention plans in place.

@Pumpy001 thank you for responding 😊 ahh really okay, I think I'm deffo going to push for some further investigation going off these responses. I think it's the stress of not knowing that bothers me most 😣
I've made a gp appointment hopefully get the ball rolling abit sooner that initially planned, and I'll have a look into dla. Thank you ☺️
Could I ask, did your daughter play peekaboo and smile with you? As I've mentioned before it's really throwing me off

I guess i didnt play peekaboo with my dd at 14 mths, but i did later and she laughs.
her flags are :
playing with non toys
non verbal
walks on toes
flaps

in the last year and a half :
she knows her name
has decent eye contact
sleeps v well through night since 3 mths
eats ok ish, though selected
doesnt have SPD ,so is unaffected by noises textures, sounds lights, unknown loud places or disruption to routine
i do play games with her like 'catch' and shes understanding more as i gleefully commentate everything!

Yes, he was very smiley (when not grumpy), made eye contact but it’s not consistent (actually he’s less consistent now than he was then). Clapped a bit and played peekaboo but no pointing until 2.5 and no waving socially til 3.5. Gestalt language processor so first talked (eventually) using phrases from books/songs before constructing original speech too.

@Pumpy001 brill thank you! And I'm glad your daughter is making great progress 😊

@Peelspeelspeels sounds very similar to my boy! Thank you for sharing i really appreciate the help 😊