What does your AS child DO?

[Flame]

(DS I find happily playing with babies etc - which is why I am querying... and a bit tbh)

At 5 DS lined up toys in alphabetical order by the names he called them; but never played with them. Cars made endless traffic jams, usually in colour sequence. Interested in collections - didn't matter what of. Liked tv programmes with orange things in them - would switch off if not enough orange! Chose orange t shirts always. Wouldn't do his coat up because he couldn't stand the noise the zip made. Liked everything on his plate to be separate. Toys would be unwrapped on Christmas day eventually, then left unused. He would laugh hysterically at slapstick humour; but never gets a joke.
Would come for a big tight squeeze hug when he wanted one; but would never accept being hugged by others.
BUT - (he's 9 now)this week he got 'star of the week' at school for helping other children!

DS is 4 with an ASD and his activities largely revolve around his alphabet obsession. I allow him 30-ish minutes of BBC's Fun with Phonics/Words and Pictures per day (any more drives us all bananas, especially since he comandeers the controls and replays his fave bits constantly) plus 30 mins of CBeebies/Disney/Sesame Street websites but, unsupervised, he'll invariably spend his time writing letters/words/sentences and talking/singing about his flamin' letters. However, he's quite easily diverted when I've dragged myself away from job/chores/looking after DD (2) and will play board games, jigsaws and ball games quite happily. Can't wait until summer though as he loves playing outside in the garden and I'll be able to divert him away from telly and PC.

He's in bed with a 10-inch foam letter E as I write, bless him...

DS(now 9) does not own toys or books - we've given up buying them!! He has a bike (which he was obsessed with riding and maintaining for a while but has now gone off). He has a couple of science kits which occassionally come out. His greatest love is the computer, which he spends ages on either playing an online computer game, or researching his latest craze (cuurently the buying a better computer). He has never read a book voluntarily (school manage to force him now and then) although he reads fluently, and has never drawn a picture of his own accord (again school force him everynow and again). He has no imaginaive play, my younger 2 were trying to get him to join in mums and dads the other day - it was amusing!!! He loves the TV, and spends ages glue to national geographic and discovery channels. Like Catoks DS he also loves slapstick (mr bean, chuckle vision etc), but cannot get a joke.

My DS5 is also 9. He has never really "played" much with toys. He used to like lego-but he would have to build a model exactly as in the instructions. He would not attempt any free play with it.

His main love has always been the computer or console games (wii, DS etc). He will spend hours playing on these. He also likes watching Utube videos and googling stuff. His reading is advanced, but like sarah above he would not choose to read a book other than to research something.

Like your DD flame he does not feel the cold; he rarely wears anything in the house and never has done since he was little. He gets hot very quickly. He also hates the feel of many clothes and I often have to abandon new clothes if he does not like the feel of them.

His diet is very restricted-this has been one of the main problems as when he gets anxious he will only eat one or two items (usually cereal and milk). He will not eat "normal"meals-pasta has to be plain with no sauce. He will not eat any vegetables etc.

Does not like change to routine-needs lots of preparation for change in timetable at school for instance. Does not like surprises-not even for birthdays!

Does that give you some idea? Have you read something like Tony Attwoods book on AS which might give more insight into what the traits are? Like you I was surprised to find that some of the things DS does are related to the AS.

Hi Flame,

My DD (5 AS) has what appears to me really good play skills, but they have all (bar a few) been taught. I also have a younger DD aged 3 and DD1 will mimick the games that she plays.

She is very ridged in play if DD2 suddenly decides that snow white is her fav princess instead of arial... this will lead to a hugh tantrum.

She also loves anything to do with maths/numbers an the alphabet (she numbers the alphabet ie F=6).

She loves the Numberjaxs but refuses to watch them on Cbeebies and will only watch it on DVD.

She also loves the computor would spend hours sat hear if i let her.

Rainforest maths is a fav at the min.

She hates wearing trousers will only wear skirts/dresses. She refuses to wear any other colour but pink at w/ends. Getting her to wear a school uniform cos its not pink!! was a nightmare for weeks.

At home my DD is very NT has good eye contact ect, im am very ridged with our routine so i think this helps. At school and on outings (trips to shops ect) she turns into a completely differant child, almost zero eye contact, she wont even turn her head to face you (even me ) , she cannot sit still, find it very difficult to move on to a differant activatity without lots of warnings.

The one thing that suprised me (trait wise) is the fact that she is ultra tickleish is part of her AS.

I'm like you, Flame - just not 100% convinced that my son has AS, but he certainly has a lot of overlaps in his behaviour with AS children. Mine (age 4) loves letters, numbers and singing (connected to the counting, as he sings his songs in order as per the CD player and knows what number each song represents) - he would happily count, do sums and times tables, watch the CD player count up to 50 as it plays his favourite nursery rhymes, etc, all day - in between playing board games like snakes and ladders which involve lots of counting. However, that doesn't mean that be NEVER plays role-play type games (eg we have a doctors' kit he pretends to use occasionally, he's been known to make us pretend food and he sometimes plays Bob the Builder games with his brother, where they pretend to saw up all our furniture. He also knows how to play appropriately with toy garages, etc, and makes up funny stories, it's just that these really aren't his first choice of activities).

He never draws pictures, but will draw letters and numbers and can read fluently but prefers to be read to. However, he has a great imagination, is really thoughtful, loving and cute, is good at sharing, plays just like a NT child with his brother, and will let me bully him into trying out other activities from time to time. He is very eager to please adults, so will do activities he dislikes at school if the teachers ask him to. He still doesn't see the point of friends - he's got his brother, parents and the teachers and doesn't see why he needs to play with anyone else. However, he isn't actually keen on playing alone - he likes us all to be around, involved in his counting (yawn, yawn).

Perhaps I'll get away with telling everyone he's just gifted at maths and a bit obsessional and that's why he's a bit unusual!!!!! My husband was a little bit unusual when he was little, too (not quite so marked, it has to be said, and without the additional problems with hypotonia and hypermobility) and he is most definitely NT, now (if there really is such a thing - I think we're all weird in one way or another, it just depends how good we are at hiding it).

Thank you everyone

It was the playing element that I was mainly focussing on, it has been really interesting reading all the similarities. Especially with Asteamedpoater (still love that name ) where there isn't no imaginative play (that sounds very bad english ), but rarely and normally only if another is doing them.

When her friends at school were asking for toys at christmas, her list consisted of a Mickey mouse duvet cover, a care bears lunch box and a spiderman torch.

I love the list of presents! They sound like the sort of presents I'd like - useful things that will last and not get boring as quickly as plastic toys will. I probably wouldn't go for Mickey Mouse, Care Bears or Spiderman any more, though!

My ds can never think of what he wants for Christmas or birthdays, although he was delighted with the watch he got for his birthday.

DD thinks she will like toys (based on whatever theme she is into), was delighted when she opened her pirateship and "ben10 watch" (omnitrix) for her birthday... but then barely touched them

It did look like we were cheapskate parents at school when she had to do a drawing of what she had for xmas "a torch"

That's great she was delighted at first. Has she got better over time at being pleased with her presents when she unwraps them?

The thing that always upset me a bit about my ds was that he never seemed to want to get past the barrier of the wrapper to see what was inside in the first place and would then look a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing when his presents were revealed. I'd then spend the next month getting excited about his presents in front of him and playing with them to try and excite his interest. There isn't a toy in the house that he hasn't played with, now, albeit he's often taken his time to get around to playing with them.

That's why I was so pleased with his watch, because it's the first time I've ever seen his face light up when he's opened a present. He also talks a lot more about Christmas and birthdays these days - as though he finally understands the point of them.

I've always been quite surprised that she does react so well to presents because normally surprises/unexpected would throw her. I think gifts seem to fall into a different category for her.

Her birthday is coming up and people are asking for ideas for her. I have seen toys that I think she should like, but I am now realising that although in theory she would like them (Ben 10 figures etc), she most likely wouldn't touch them, so I am leaning towards the things she would like in reality (Ben 10 top trumps, wii game, clothes etc)

I very much doubt we will ever get a dx for her - she has many tendencies, but not enough to tick enough boxes for an assessment iyswim. We seem to be doing better with me working out how she works, reading about parenting AS etc.

DD is my first, but not only iyswim (a younger DS). She has been raised with a lot of time with my friend though and as a result has spend most of her time as one of 6.

I have always gotten frustrated at the lack of playing with toys, but it is only this week that it has dawned on me that it isn't a not liking of her toys, it is just that she doesn't play like that, and she only does at other houses because they are leading her.

Threads like this help me to learn a bit more about how she works, and in turn help me to parent her better.

That Christmas list sounds like ours. Ds2 particularly loves torches and has a collection of them.

Ds1 (7yrs and HFA) loves his PS2 more than anything. He also does a lot of drawing - usually something to do with whichever PS2 game he is playing. At the moment it's Ben 10. He also loves writing stories in his notebook.

Ds2 (5yrs and AS) likes making things. The biggest successes so far have been with making things related to his interests so we now have an odd collection of brains, skeletons, DNA models, and bodies on the shelf. (Makes us sound like serial killers or something ). He also likes to draw Ben 10 aliens. The rest of the time he's usually busy bouncing on his mini-trampoline and hanging upside down somewhere.

They also have some games that they've invented together. The latest is alien school where they line up their Ben 10 figures, ds1 writes out the register, and they teach the toys how to do new moves.

Hi
Haven't read all of these but my DS seems to like to 'bed' toys or games in. So he will get them and they may sit untouched for 6 months before he starts using them. We wondered if he'd do this with the Nintendo DS for Christmas but played it straight away. He won't however, do a game unless he has seen the film first!

He had and has an active imagination, never lines anything up but did like spinning things and how things worked so casette players, etc. Loved his toy washing machine when younger and loved doing pretend cooking with playdo and stuff (he once watched a TV chef make a meat pie then went and copied it with his playdoh). He is now into cooking and is pretty good at it.

The big difference between hiim and DS2 who doesn't have SEN is that DS1 was/is more immature - so DS2 was playing with things and has outgrown things that DS1 was still playing with at the same age. Also, to my embarrasment, at Drs surgeries and at a play club he went to he was happily playing with baby toys when he was 9. DS2 would go and fiddle but not play with it. DS2 also likes the latest crazes and will be 'in' to anything that his friends are into - we never had any of this with DS1.

Coppertop - the more I hear about your boys, the more I think DD would be in heaven with them! Ben 10 alien school with lines and registers?? She would be delighted!

Dressing up and makeup is again only if other children are doing it and she feels like it - left to her own devices she tends not to be interested.

School are fabulous, they haven't noticed any interaction problems (I am starting to have concerns though because she has gone from telling me about lots of friends, to saying no-one wants to play with her ). We had one incident at the beginning where they changed her book without warning, but since then they have known not to do things without warning, so they always keep her/the class informed of changes

It's strange isn't it how you rarely meet children IRL who are anything like your own, but on MN there are quite a few children who sound so similar? It makes you feel less isolated IYSWIM.

DS2(7,AS)has always loved looking at books, although he doesn't read well yet, loves telly and computer games and will do a little roleplay/dressing up as long as it is based on one of his interests(he joins in rather than initiates) eg. star wars or lord of the rings. Interestingly he never really liked thomas the Tank Engine but was obbssessed with watching the original black and white King Kong movie every day when he was 3 (and that was before i realised he was more than just a bit quirky!). He also likes any construction toys but has a tendency to make a small gun/spaceship and then spend ages rotating it and making shooting noises, its his most obvious repetitive routine. His main interest however is Warhammer, he can't manage to play a long game but is passionate about reading the catalogues and studying the website and also likes painting the figures and scenery. His Dad and brothers are also into it so it can be quite a social activity in our house (help I'm surrounded by geeks!).
Sport is not v. popular but he does like running about outside, climbing trees etc. and loves the swing park. He is good at drawing but doesn't bother much these days, apart from drawing warhammer battles, he is a perfectionist and is easily but off.