Any experience of Homestart?

[BugBearisBugBear]

I've just e-mailed Homestart to see if I can self-refer and get some help. DD2 has CP and is 16 months, DD1 is nearly 4.

Has anyone got experience of having a Homestart volunteer?

Were they useful?

Did you find there was a massive waiting list?

Any info gratefully received!

Hi, I have a dd aged 2 with CP and another dd aged 3.5. I had a homestart volunteer until a couple of months ago. She was lovely - there was quite a long waiting list, maybe 3-4 months? but the person they sent me was a lifesaver. She used to come every friday morning and usually just play with the children. I always envisaged that I'd want to go off and do the ironing or something but in fact I liked having adult company and especially someone who was not family or friends so I could be honest with. My only slight complaint would be they kind of expect you to only need support for a limited amount of time - I had a review after 3 months and they were surprised that I wanted to keep my volunteer. After another 3 months I was reviewed again and this time they made it very clear that they wanted the volunteer to move on to another family. The thing is I need help more than ever, now dd is 2 and still can't walk she is getting more and more angry and has all days tantrums . I miss my homestart volunteer now and am now trying to find other support as I really can't do this on my own. What type of CP does your dd have? Mine has spastic diplegia which is considered 'mild' but we have been told that she probably won't walk before starting school .

Hi,
I have a Ds aged 3.1 with CP very similar to Jenkeywoo's DD. I have a homestart volunteer who is fabulous and comes with me to our weekly 2.5 hour therapy session too look after DS2 aged 11 months. I was told that if you have a disabled child you jump to the top of the list. Don't know if that is true or not but we only waited about weeks to be 'matched'. We have had her for a year now and I did stress on our recent review how I couldn't do without her!!

Hi JenkeyWoo and Hairy. I know you both, we've chatted before. I do keep name-changing tho.

Jenkey, my DD has left hemi. Do you think your DD is so cross because she wants to walk and is frustrated she can't? My DD is fairly mobile (she crawls well, is pulling up and cruising a few steps) but she has started having terrible strops, and will eg repeatedly bang her head against the floor REALLY hard if things don't go her way.

Not sure if this is a sign of the famous 'behavourial problems' or just her age, but DD used to be such a happy smiley thing.

Hairy, my DD goes to the CE place that your DS goes to. IYO would a Homestart volunteer be willing to eg look after DD1 while I took DD2 to CE?

Hi Bugbear - are you formally Cocodebear? tis very confusing! Yes, I do think that dd's behaviour is due to frustration - she has suddenly starting looking at her little legs and telling me they are 'poorly' and 'hurty' - heartbreaking . She seems to suddenly be aware of her Cp and it just makes her so cross. I'm not sure if Homestart could look after your dd whilst you go to CE - I'm pretty sure you're not meant to leave your children alone. The only thing I can think of is if your volunteer would be able to come with you to the CE centre and look after your other dd in the building. What do you do at the moment? we go to a CE centre 50 miles away once a week - I can't drive on motorways (too scared ) so my mum drives us all there, I take dd2 to CE and she takes dd1 swimming. It's such an almighty effort as it takes an hour each way but it is worth.

p.s do I know you from the hemihelp message board? if you haven't been there yet it's a really friendly board.

Hi jenkey, yes I do know you from the hemihelp board too, I'm H'smum. Are you still posting on there? I've been wondering how things have been going for you. Your DD is just a few months older than mine.

At the mo I go to CE on a work day when DD1 is at nursery and I just take time off work (not ideal, but...). DD2 is about to move to another group at CE tho, on a day I don't work, so I need childcare for DD1. Feel constantly guilty as DD1 doesn't get much for herself anymore, it's all therapy therapy therapy for DD2 - even tho she seems fairly mild. Her arm does at least. Her leg is worse. And I'm constantly worrying about her cognition... she seems kind of age-appropriate, but she's so little who can tell - plus she's always had a little head...

of course, h's mum - good to hear from you! Yes it is so hard giving both children what they need isn't it? I feel eternally guilty as dd1 was only 18 months old when dd2 came along so has had it hard for a long time. She actually says to me 'mum, why doe dd2 cry all the time?' and more recently 'why are her legs poorly? why can she walk?'. dd1 has had a huge relapse in potty training - been dry for ages but was having 6+ accidents a day so I've had to put her back into pull-ups which is gutting, I always feel it's due to the stress of having a sister with CP.

I know what you mean about worrying about cognition - a couple of months ago dd2 started really really talking and that has been very re-assuring but in other ways she is not where she should be - play skills and also she just isn't as emotionally mature. My dd also has a tiny head - no-one has ever mentioned it as microcephaly but I think she must be close as she really is tiny - her head is the same size as my 3 month old nephew! She is generally teeny though - and has skinny little chicken legs with no fat or muscle. I hope you get something sorted so you can keep doing the CE - it's really hard when it involves such major planning. Have they got your dd walking with the ladder back chairs and parallel bars? my dd has been pushing a little ladder back chair for a couple of months and is the last few weeks they have got her walking with the parallell bars - it's really quite cool to see! We bought a ladder back chair for home but of course the little imp flatly refuses to walk with it at home.

they've got DD walking with a 'rollator', I think they're called. She likes to give it a go.

I'm obsessed with microcephaly too, i know my DD is really low down (barely on) the centile chart. But her consultant said he wasn't too worried provided her head was growing at some rate. He even said it could come off the chart all together and as long as it followed its own curve he wasn't worried... Despite this though, he's "keeping an eye on her".

H has about 10 words (if that) where her sister had maybe 80 at this age - but her big sis was v precocious in talking so I don't know what to think.

You're in the north of England somewhere I think?

nah, we're down south - in Bournemouth but we go to the Rainbow centre in Fareham for our CE. My two are the other way round - dd1 was barely saying 10 words at her 2nd birthday but dd2 is talking in full sentences so maybe it's not so much to do with the CP, just siblings being different.

Yes I asked for referral through midwives when I knew I would be having section for ds2 when ds1 was only 16m. We live on a VERY steep hill (like that old Hovis ad) with park at the top.
I just wanted someone to push pram with baby in to park while I walked very slowly with ds1 walking.
Homestart woman rang me 2 days after I got out of hosp, arranged day to take me to park a week later when I'd be able to walk a bit.
Never turned up. By this time I'd been virtually housebound with very demanding new baby, 16m old lively boy and was starting to crumble.
I sat in all that afternoon crying just wanting to go to the park. We don't have a garden and it was a lovely day.
No phone call, no apology after.
Not impressed.

Flibbertyjibbet, that's awful!

BBBB - I think that homestart would be perfect for looking after your other little one at CE. I don't use mine for that therapy group but ithe set up is very similar. I meet my volunteer at the centre, basically hand over toys, snacks, pushchair and DS2 and let her do whatever she wants! They often stay for a little bit mostly as we thought it was important for DS2 to not be 'shut out' from everything DS1 does. Then when DS2 gets noisy, restless or in the way they disappear. It's great!

Jenkeywoo, we had very similar problems with temper tantrums and found 2 things helped. Firstly starting music therapy, it really seemed to ease the frustration until he got moving, at that stage he wasn't even crawling. It also bought on his language, which has always been nearly age appropriate, but everything helps! The other thing was finding out that he had an ear infection, he had no temp, no pulling at ears etc we just went into hosp for a battery of tests to see if all the temper tantrums were a sign of some other problem and discoverred he had an ear infection that he;d had for a while. A course of antibiotics really helped the situation.

Hi I haven't got any experience of CP but my DD has a genetic condition and I am a lone parent, I self referred to home start and had a volunteer for a few months until I moved areas. I was told that I could have another one here but they did seem surprised when I asked about it so I haven't yet. Also I used the time to do chores most weeks so although I looked forward to my volunteer coming (she was lovely and DD loved her) I also used to think oh no that means housework for the afternoon! She went out of her way to help me when I was moving house and was just a very very kind lady, called herself "a frustrated granny" as her children did not have children yet. The only slight problem was that she couldn't be responsible for anything medical so although she had offered to babysit in the evenings I could never take her up on it, it also meant she couldn't be alone with DD (in case DD needed injection). Still, I think strictly speaking, homestart volunteers aren't meant to be on their own with them anyway, not sure. I would ask asap as others have said, there can be a waiting list.

Sorry just saw that you have already e mailed them. What happened with me was that the home start "leader" (for want of a better word, it is early!)came to see me first to find out what I wanted etc and tell me what they do. HTH.

How long do they stay for normally? A couple of hours?

oh no idea about this i think ill ask about it round here? so they will lisen to me moaning?lol

Yes its 2 hours usually once a week.

I used to be one! used2bthin is right, they are not allowed to be alone with kids, bath kids or change nappies. The leader does come to see you first, they talk through what you are looking for, how much help you'd like and they basically spend a little time getting to know you. They then go through their list of volunteers and 'match' you with someone they think you'll get on with. Then they come out together, introduce themselves and all that and you both get to decide if you think it'll work out. I used to go to a lady with a baby so she could get some housework done whilst I entertained the baby - but it never really happened as we got on really well and just spent the whole time chatting and having a laugh, but she liked it better that way!!!!