Thanks, pagwatch, that does make sense. I try to do the variation of set phrases/routins as well, and it does sometimes work, but it also sometimes throws dd into a panic, as she is not getting the right response... still, she has only been verbal for 18 months (said nothing at all, really until she was 2.4ish, then jumped straight in - and hasn't shut up since [head explodes at the memory of reading Maisy's paddling pool nonstop all day long for months, so that dd could supply "oh dear!" at the right point]
cyberseraphim - that's brilliant that your ds has worked out "I". Dd1 is still very much at the repetition stage, so still copies whatever I say ("would you like a green drink?" "would you like mummy to read it?", etc)
yurt - haven't read George and Sam, so don't know (gets pathetically excited that maybe there is a book I can read which describes dd1). Don't get me started on the SALT. When dd1 was 2.9 we had an assessment. Dd was talking as she is now (not as extensively, but the same pattern aspect). SALT told us that she didn't really work with under 3s. No problem, we thought - an annoying delay, but only 3 months. dd turned 3, we heard nothing. When dd was 3.4 we had a team around the child meeting - SALT tried to slope off and not attend, but was dragged back in ( - love my portage worker!). After a very heated exchange, she admitted that actually she specialises in under 3s, and so as dd was now over 3 she couldn't help us. And that as dd was essentially verbal, there was no more help we could get form SALT until school age (and she meant statutory school age, not school attendance, so another 18 months still to go).