Reception is not going well

[Sprogonthetyne]

DD is my second autistic children, so I thought I we were on top of things, but boy was I wrong. With my eldest, he struggled right through nursery, so we knew he would struggle in reception, and had suport lined up from the start. It was still a challenging time, and he did end up needing a special school, but it kind of felt like everything was in hand, qnd we were managing the process.

DD on the other hand was fine in nursery, she did 30h in the nursery attached to the school she's now at, and only needed minimal suport, and I spent years trying to convince people there was more going on, as she presented as a thriving, presented little girl, with a few odd quirks which weren't causing problems.

Since she moved up to reception though everything has fallen apart, she's not coping at all, the tiniest thing will tip her into angry meltdowns and she's attacking people multiple times a day (me, sibling, teachers, other kids at school, everyone). This didn't happen at all before September, so the escalation has be so dramatic we're just scrabbling to work out what to do and get suport in place, where do I even start?

You start by going into school and talking to staff there and seeing what they think is going on.

Meeting with the SENCO. Does she have an EHCP?

I've had meetings with the senco, one just last week and another due on Monday, following a particularly bad bite to the teacher, so they now feel they need a risk assessment.

We talked about EHCP last year, and based on her needs at the time we agreed she didn't need one (the suport she needed at the time was well within what the school could provide within their standard provision, so wouldn't have been accepted by LA).

Things have changed very quickly, the senco is trying to put together evidence to get the LA to do the assessment, but that takes time, then it's 4 months for the assessment, and could easily be next year before she would get a placement elsewhere (if she even gets one), in the meantime, she's struggling and attacking people now.

She has a calm tent and fidgets, that last year she was able to use to calm down at the start of a wobble, but this year she's going straight from fine to rage with no build up to implement those strategies. They're also doing lots of work with zones of regulation, picture timetables, now and next boards, all of which we're reinforcing at home, but the situation/ level of aggression is escalating faster then anything has time to be effective.

She's on the assessment pathway and should be seen in school by the diagnosis team "some time in the autumn term". The senco has also referred for the outreach team from a local special school to observe her and advice (don't know when, but only just put in request after last meeting), and has her scheduled to see the educational psychologist in the spring term (they'd already allocated all their time this term before things escalated).

In about 6 months, we'll hopefully be more on top of the situation, so it's more what can we practically be doing in the meantime while we're waiting for all this?

Request an EHCNA yourself now. Don’t wait for the SNECO to collect further evidence.

Is the school providing any support other than what you have listed in your posts? If your LA still has a specialist teaching service, have they requested input from them? If they need more funding to provide more support, have they requested high needs top up funding?

Can DD communicate what is she is finding hard?

X posted.

I'm sorry it's not going well.

You've had loads of good advice above but I'd make sure the school are keeping detailed notes about when meltdowns and challenging behaviour are happening so you can see patterns.

Also, have you had her physical health checked at the GP? Her shift in behaviour sounds dramatic and while it probably is school, I'd want to rule any other cause out as well.

I would also apply yourself. You can then push to keep to the timescales and can also appeal if you are unhappy with the outcome.

Could you put her on a reduced time table for the next 6 months?

Could she go back into the preschool?

Can you go in as her 1:1?

Could you have her at home doing EOTAS

They are all options I would consider.

They are options that I would do if I had to, but as they would all require me to stop working, they would be last resort options. I've already had a 4 year career brake from caring for my older child (2 months ago, I'd have described him as the higher needs of the two). I got back into work 2 years ago but I'm not sure anyone would ever employ me again if I had a second break un employ history.

If it has to come to it I will, but since she was fine in the pre-school for 2 years, I'd rather try to work things out with her in school for a bit longer before making any life changing decisions.

EOTAS/EOTIS for a child below CSA without an EHCP is unlikely.