How to cope with 2 year old meltdowns.. so exhausted!

[KirstyP0594]

Hi all,

My nearly 3 year old DS is suspected ASD and the past few months his meltdowns have been getting worse and worse and can start because of absolutely anything! I feel like I am walking on eggshells day in day out as I just don’t know what to do when he becomes so dysregulated! He will throw things around, trash the room, headbutt the floor, and he won’t allow anyone to comfort him when he is this way and this is what makes it harder. His behaviour is getting worse he is hitting and kicking the staff at his nursery that he attends for 2 days a week, I can barely get him dressed in the mornings now, let alone change his nappy! Does anyone have any tips on how they stay sane?! Does it get any better?!

Have you tried keeping a detailed diary to spot triggers? Preventing escalation is easier than trying to deescalate once DC have reached the point of no return.

Do you have any sensory equipment at home? This can help with emotional regulation.

What support is DS receiving? What support is nursery providing? Is he under SALT and OT? Has an EHCNA been requested? If the nursery needs more support, have they requested advice from the Area SENCO? If you are in an LA where early years inclusion funding starts at 2 rather than 3, have they applied for that? If nursery was easier for DS, home life would improve too.

How are DS’s eating and sleeping?

Some people find the books the Out of Sync Child and The Explosive Child helpful. Not all their content will apply to you with FS being 2, but some will.

@EndlessLight that is a good idea thank you, I will try this!

We don’t really have any sensory equipment at home, I have applied for DLA for him to hopefully allow us to buy some sensory equipment for him as I feel this will help!

He is currently on the waiting list for SALT and OT, haven’t had our initial appointments with those yet, and we are due to see somebody from Portage next week. The nursery are now applying for and Early Years SEND advisor to come in and advise them on what things they can do to support him further, they do have certain strategies in place currently but I think they feel they need more support. They said that once he moves up to the 3-4 year old class they will then look at applying for an EHCP for him.

His eating is not good he has extreme sensory issues with food, so I have to serve him what he likes so that I know he eats, and at nursery he refuses all food served to him so they have allowed him to have a snack box there provided by myself just so that he is eating at nursery. He also has very unsettled nights waking frequently and is very dysregulated when waking and can take 1-2 hours for him to calm down and go back to sleep again.

Thank you, that is very helpful I will take a look! Things seem to have just got so much harder the past few months!

Request an EHCNA yourself now. You don’t need to wait. IPSEA is a charity who supports parents of DC with SEN. They have a lot of helpful information on their website, including a model letter for requesting an EHCNA.

Have you looked at any charities for sensory toys/equipment? You don’t have to wait for a diagnosis or DLA for them. There are other charities but I would start by looking around New Life, Family Fund, Cerebra and Caudwell Children.

For DS’s eating, have a look at ARFID. Will DS take a multivitamin?

Depending on how long you will be waiting to see paeds, you may want to ask the GP to refer to a sleep clinic.

@EndlessLight Oh really I didn’t know I could do this myself! Thank you I will take a look!

I have heard of Family Fund but didn’t realise I could apply without DLA or a diagnosis, that’s brilliant thank you for that!

I have heard of ARFID yes, he has a multivitamin I mix in with his milk every morning so at least he has that, but everything else is waffles, chicken nuggets and biscuits, or crackers and baby fruit pouches/yoghurts.

He was referred to paeds by the HV, but they refused him as they said he needs to be seen by SALT first which we are still awaiting an initial appointment for so he is going to need to be re-referred so I think it will be a long wait for that. Can I ask what a sleep clinic is?

Thanks so much for your help!

A sleep clinic is a clinic which can help with sleep difficulties. They can prescribe medication such as melatonin. Paeds can also prescribe this but in some areas the wait for a sleep clinic is shorter.

Don’t overly worry about DS’s eating. Some people find food chaining helpful.