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She's really beginning to annoy me now

15 replies

emkana · 21/04/2008 20:43

There is a woman on a German SN discussion board who has a dd of ds's age with achondroplasia (so similar to ds). Contrary to me though she is totally unhappy with this diagnosis, and she never stops in putting her dd down, saying how behind she is in her development, how she will never be able to go to Grammar School (ffs ) and so on and so on. I just had a CAT-type message from her after I catted her to say there is evidence that in fact people with achondroplasia have normal intelligence, but she just doesn't want to know and is telling me in great detail about all these cases she knows in which the children had in fact problems.

grrrrr
sorry had to get this off my chest

I dont' think I can reply to her

OP posts:
NotABanana · 21/04/2008 20:43

You don't need too.

Twiglett · 21/04/2008 20:45

well I know who's child I'd rather be

am not surprised you're livid ... what an arse

PersonalClown · 21/04/2008 20:45

Ignore her and concentrate on how wonderful your Ds is progressing.

Life's too short to worry about her.

bigcar · 22/04/2008 17:47

I don't think anything you say will make a difference to how she feels, she hasn't accepted her dd's dx at all which is very sad for her and her family. It sounds like she is just panicking, maybe in denial about what is happening and can only see the down side. She has probably done what I did and consulted dr google and of course it's usually the worse case scenarios that you read that way rather than the positive side that you are trying to tell her about, and it's probably scared her stupid. Hopefully with a bit of time, experience and luck she will see things differently and her attitude will change, it takes some people a long time to accept their dc's dx. You are being very supportive to her which is a wonderful thing to do, but if she's upsetting you then don't reply.

bigcar · 22/04/2008 17:51

And living in an area that still has grammar schools, I am very pleased to say that none of my children will be attending one!

moondog · 22/04/2008 17:58

Oh tell her to fuck off and have a plate od sauerkraut and a beer.
Silly cow.

Twig,we've exchanged words about your whose/who's blind spot before.See me after school please.)

Twiglett · 22/04/2008 18:00

oh arse-baskets

whose whose whose whose whose whose whose

not who is who's who is who's who is who's

Twiglett · 22/04/2008 18:00

and I'm such an aspiring-pedant too

bigcar · 22/04/2008 18:01

I was trying for the diplomatic approach!

emkana · 22/04/2008 20:00

pmsl at you lot

OP posts:
roastlamb · 23/04/2008 07:53

Tell her, there are 2 little girls (not so little now) who despite being disabled, went to Asia and set up NGOs and have done incredible things.

Helen Keller wasn't expected to do anything, she did a hell of a lot.

There are so many people who have disabilities and yet have had the courage to go above and beyond.

Who cares if she can't do certain things now, the mother should see her for who she is, a little girl.

sarah293 · 23/04/2008 08:07

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sarah293 · 23/04/2008 08:42

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emkana · 23/04/2008 20:23

riven, they don't. But this woman has six "perfect" daughters who are all doing v. well academically, and thought she was going to get a seventh one exactly the same, and instead she had this "imperfect" one. It makes me very sad how she reacts to the situation, for her dd.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 23/04/2008 21:03

"Tell her, there are 2 little girls (not so little now) who despite being disabled, went to Asia and set up NGOs and have done incredible things.". Oh there are two of them now are there? .

Em, I think so often disability has no variation to people. You are either disabled, or you aren't, iyswim? - to some people there is no concept of different types of disability, or even differing degrees of the same disability.

I also think that to some people, their ignorance is born out of their own inability to understand how they would cope in the same situation. i.e. people have often said to me "oh it's so marvellous, all the things you can do, it must be very hard to cope though?" when in actual fact what they're saying (indirectly) is "I know that I need to see to do x and y and z, so I can't understand how it can be done without being able to see." does that make sense? My disability is not so much of a disability to me, because I've lived with it all my life, and know no different, but to someone who has never experienced it, the prospect is terrifying.

This woman won't do her child any favours by degrading her life like that. I went to school with people whose parents hadd much the same attitude as her, and who grew up with far less independence, and far less abilities, despite the fact they have exactly the same disability as me, and are therefore capabble of exactly the same things.

You can only keep doing what you're doing, and knowing in your heart that you're doing the right thing. You will come across people like her throughout your life. some are worth educating, others will never take anything onboard, and sadly their children will pay the price.

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