Would you recommend me to apply for EHCP

[babybellx]

Hi everyone any advice and thoughts are appreciated, would be very helpful for me to gather myself together. Please be kind
i have a ds who is nearly 4.
cutting it short
he is behind with speech around 12 months behind.
He saw speech and language specialist as he was non verbal at 3.
salt recons son has differences with sensory processing, behavioural differences , social differences and delayed speech.
he has extremely high needs compared to other children his age and cannot sit still.
currently also is entitled to hrc dla.
his nursery have no concerns what so ever none to the point they did not even join for his meeting that was made with the speech and language therapist.
it is clear he is delayed and although they still don’t even want to accept the fact of delay there.
my son just goes to nursery plays around paints does play in garden pleases his teachers for extra attention then comes home and blasts off.
so long story short his speech comes on with me at home especially over term holidays and even nursery tell me his speech has come on over the holidays and this is due to having constant 1-1 at home so this helps him learn more words and learn anything really.
my concern is when he starts primary he is going to be expected to sit on the chair when asked to do so .
I just can’t see this happening . Nursery and primary schools are completely different .
now he also doesn’t learn anything without the 1-1 ?
his emotions are everywhere and he does not like to be told off what so ever has breakdowns until he is hugged and forgiven?
idk I could go into great depth but don’t even no where to start as his nursery are letting us down .
we have just been accepted to see a pediatric
and waiting to see ot
these referals where done by speech therapist .
overall he is young but I can’t help but think he has asd and even possible adhd and I’m just worried about next year with teachers that don’t no him atall and won’t understand his needs without an ehcp so I’m so stuck. Do I leave it as it is? Or should I apply for my son? Do you think he should have an ehcp?

im just worried that if he for sure needs one and I don’t sort it out then I am also going to be letting his education life down:( please help

I would recommend applying. If you can get one in place before him starting school it will give you more options for schools. You won't be restricted to the catchment area and you can look around and see which ones are well set up for children with SEND.

It's going to be a bit harder without the support of nursery. Does the nursery have a SENDCO? What are they saying about it?

How did you find the speech therapist and have they assessed him? Do nursery not follow any of the speech therapists recommendations? What were his first words and when did you first become concerned?

No nursery have not asked me atall what happened at the appointment and what the recommendations were from the therapist .
as son was non verbal still by 3 years the health visitors kept coming around every 3 months to check his progress but he still wasn’t at target
i always have been concerned he walked very late and didn’t army crawling at 15 months never crawled on 4s. But nether the less it’s the behaviour for me that makes me feel like thou this could all be due to asd.
took us 11 months to get him to have a toilet on the toilet
he’s constantly smearing large large amounts of toilet around the house
waking up every single night not sleeping running taps baths
he can’t help himself to hit his sister he literally cannot stop himself clenches his teeth then goes and bites hits her?
grinds his teeth alll night long dentist said she could see that he does this and to go gp cos she thinks his got hyperactivity
gp saw him couple of months ago wrote a letter out to school saying he needs urgent help and they think he might have adhd and that he couldn’t sit still .
runs away everytime we are out I have to hold his hand throughout the whole period of being out doors .
idk the list could go on and on

I spoke to senco first ever when I became extremely concerned and told her and showed her vids pictures of things that go on at home. She told me go to gp as this isn’t normal behaviour/development.
well I went gp and they also thought by having him in the examination room that he could have adhd
health visitors that visit us at home are also concerned there for did referrals to peds
then senco then decided that because he doesn’t do this stuff in nursery he’s there 15 hours a week that he doesn’t need any more help and that I need to stop thinking this way as he is developing fine . Cutting it short they are doing everything they can to stop him being checked by professionals won’t turn up at his meetings.
don’t want to engage in any questionares
the senco fills everything althoughhhh this key worker knows him abit better but either way they both are not willing to help to even get checked out.

The GP has referred you to the paediatrician who will send a form to nursery and have questions for you too. In the meantime have you had his hearing and eyesight checked?

Yes, I would apply for an EHCNA. Do it asap. There is a model letter here, and info that guides you through showing he meets the test: https://www.ipsea.org.uk/making-a-request-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment. You don't have to use your council's form.

You don't need the nursery's support (though they'll be asked for views as part of the assessment). It sounds like you have lots of evidence that he meets the two part test: SLT report, GP referral for ASD assessment, HR dla, HV referrals. Can you get a copy of the letter the GP wrote for his nursery? You can also describe narratively the behaviours at home. Do you get any kind of reports from nursery? Would it be helpful to include those? You don't have to if they aren't helpful.

If you suspect nursery are downplaying his behaviours, you could do a Subject Access Request to see if there are communications about him you haven't seen. But I wouldn't hold up the EHCNA request to wait for this.

Please don't panic about school yet. I can't promise it will be easy but I've found school better informed than my DS's private nursery was and so far it's going better. I know that isn't the case for all children, though.

Also, you sound like you're doing so much to get your son help, and that you understand his strengths and struggles and that counts for a lot.

Yes, request an EHCNA yourself. You won’t have a finalised EHCP by the January deadline so you must also make an application via the normal admissions procedures. You may not even have an EHCP by September 2025.

Reception isn’t all about sitting at desks. A lot is similar to nursery.