Please help - my 8yr old

[Newone123456]

Hi,

Please does anyone have any advice. I have an 8yr old daughter. She is suspected dyslexic say the school since yr2 but no official diagnosis.
Her behaviour is on another level. At school she is the most behaved in the class, happy, friends and although slightly behind academically she enjoys school.
At home constant tantrums, arguing with old sibling, refuses to read and hates reading and spellings. She has full on tantrums screaming and crying if you ask her for the 6th+ time to get dressed or brush teeth. She won't sleep on her own. If we are out she won't let go of my arm and does a repetitive kissing action on my chest or arm every minute. She will call herself stupid, say she wants to die and other drastic comments.
This just doesn't seem like normal behaviour like her peers. I'm really struggling. Everyday there is tears and arguing. I am really worried something isn't right and don't know what to do.
There is 100% no bullying, issues at home etc.
Where can I start to an assessment (is there even one for the above issues??) any advice appreciated, thank you x

Speak to the SENCO and GP.

What support is the school providing?

DD sounds quite anxious. Is she receiving any support for that?

Appearing to manage fine at school but exploding at home isn’t uncommon. It is called the coke bottle effect. If school was easier home life would improve too.

Some people find The Explosive Child and the Out of Sync Child books helpful. Others find PDA strategies helpful (even if DC doesn’t have PDA).

It sounds like perhaps there's something else other than the dyslexia.

My daughter is the same age and we strongly suspect dyslexia and school are supported accordingly. We have similar in that she is the model pupil at school but everything comes out at home. We spent Y2&3 not pushing any school work at home so no reading or spellings which sounds counter intuitive. But the SENCO said she's probably working so so hard at school that her brain is exhausted by the time she's at home. That worked well and behaviour improved. She still bounces off the wall and doesn't really sleep. I sometimes wonder about ADHD and whether the reading / spelling issues are due to that or dyslexia. Have a look as dyslexia can often come in a package with other neurodiversity.

But some of her behaviours seem similar to my son who is awaiting an autism assessment, particularly the repetitive kissing. He does this when he's anxious.

Definitely speak to the SENCO. Don't be fobbed off and put everything in an email so there is a paper trail. Her behaviour at home does suggest unmet needs at school.

Good luck.