To change school or not?

[wooga]

Hi,I'll quickly fill you in on the situation-please bear with me!

I have ds aged 6 with hf asd and dd aged 3.

I split with h last year and will be moving to rented once house is sold.

My ds is due to start junior school in Sep,the school is on the same site as the infant school he attends.

My ds's school have let me down considerably in the past and have problems with sickness-mainly his teacher.
I haven't heard much positive stuff about his junior school-have been concerned that they might turn out useless too.They haven't started the process of taking ds to look at the junior yet,my ds is on school action plus and the school relies heavily on a TA that's in the class for another child with statement.

Ds's assessment request papers supposedly got sent off weeks ago,only for me to find out that due to his teachers absence,they won't be finished and sent off until she's back next week.

Ds only has one friend but says he's alone a lot as they always fall out so not lots of friends to move up to the junior with.

I would really like to move to other side of town so my parents are nearer-they said they can help out with taking dcs to school and collecting to help me with school job if needed.Just having more support nearby would be great,my dcs love their grandparents.

My exh doesn't give me support.

The only thing that has stopped me from moving ds to new school was the worry that the change will be too much,but he'll have to change in Sep anyway.

I want to call up the schools in the other area and check them out/check their places,then if I feel they'd be better for ds(and dd when older),see if ds likes them and get going with the trans by taking him for visits and taking photos etc.

I asked ds how he'd feel about a different junior/primary school if I took him and got him used to it and he said that he always falls out with his friend anyway and 'do they have ICT/guitar lessons at the other schools?'

Do you think it's a possibility-as long as there is a place etc and I get my arse in gear to sort it out?

Or is it better the devil you(kind of)know?

I feel that if I was to move ds,this would be the last chance as I couldn't move him once he'd started the junior school.

Sorry for waffling,my head is so cluttered up at the moment!

Hi Wooga, I have just moved my DD (5 AS) to a new school, she only started in reception last september and dispite her old school being very supportive, i still felt that is wasnt the right place for her IYKWIM.

Her old school was very big (400+) and they had very little experiance of ASDs, they tryed really hard, but i just felt like DD was a bit of an experiment for them as they had no other pupils at this school with complexed SNs.

She has now been at her new school, which is much smaller (140ish kids) and they have lots of experiance of SENs as they have a SEN unit for complexe needs.

She has done amazingly well, we did lots of vistits with her over a 4 weeks period, so she was really well preped. I can hoestly say that i have no regrets atall (fingers crossed!! im making myself paranoid now LOL)She comes home every day all smiley and wants to get up and go every morning.

All i can say is put your feelers out and go and have a look round. Do you have a local support group ? Maybe someone there could recommend which school in that area to have a look at.

Hope this helps and good luck

Hi wooga I moved DS to a different infant school so he could go to the junior school I wanted him at when he was in Y2 and he has settled fine. He still sees his best friend from the old school (he's in Y4 now) as I make sure that they can still have time together occasionally, this is getting less and less as both boys 'move on' but this would happen anyway with friendships, espeically for DS who is HFA and finds it difficult to maintain friendships because of his need to dominate and lack of coping with things not going his way and lack of general social skills. He is much happier at his new school - I have found that he can cope with a huge change like this better than he can cope with the smaller/unplanned changes.

You do know that you can apply directly for a statement to your LEA yourself? There is a great outline letter on the IPSEA website to help you. Then the LEA have got a short timescale to reply and set up the assessment. Have you got Parent Partnership involved? They help support you and are able to talk through issues before meetings, will go to meetings with you, and they know exactly what you are entitled to ask for! They will also help you look at other schools for DS.

You really are having a time of it aren't you? I know EXACTLY how that feels You sound like you have some of the same issues we do! If you want to contact me for a rant or support or whatever my email is puttybrick at aol dot com.

Oh thank you so much for your replies!I get so worried about stuff sometimes but it always helps to come on here!
One of the schools I'm considering has a special unit attached to it for children with complex needs,the other school has a good reputation (a recent years' good rep. as opposed to an out of date one like present school!)and has preschool on same site.

I will phone them up tomorrow and see if they have places and organise visiting-phone numbers by the phone ready!

I know that if I don't do anything now,I'll always regret it and be full of 'what ifs',your posts have given me the confidence to pursue it.

My ds can cope with changes as long as he has time to get used to them-photos,visits,maps etc.I will contact the Dr that gave him his diagnosis as she's always very supportive.

I will also consider asking for assessment myself,I have to see ds's teacher when she's back this week and chase her up with the forms.

Sorry life is extra challenging for you at present.
We moved Ds in time for juniors, - a little differently since it was to a special school and we could not do that till the statement was in place. We got it all sorted the last week summer term! If your assessment request has not gone in, you will not have a statement till after Sept (August at our lea is a close down month). But I can see the logic in changing over the summer.
I was very worried about the change to junior partly because the more formal schooling and lower care levels would have been more difficult for ds(LD and asd traits). Also failures in the schools understanding during infants did not give me much confidence they would fully support ds!
He coped very well and now has new friends - not close friends I fear those will not happen, but knocking along side friends!

It's great to hear these positive experiences.