I suspect my 10y/o daughter is autistic, but I don’t know how to raise the topic with her in a gentle, constructive way - and is it even helpful to seek a diagnosis, with waiting lists so long?
She is clever and likes routine, so always does well at school and usually “masks” well. But in the past couple of years I’ve noticed more and more signs: she struggles with changes to expected plans; has extreme reactions to sensory discomfort; melts down when overwhelmed; seems younger and less independent than her peers. Recently the bigger thing is that she struggles with social dynamics, falling out with friends often and telling me that socialising in groups makes her head hurt.
I’ve never raised the possibility of autism with her. Bearing in mind her age and personality, I can easily imagine her freaking out at any suggestion that something is “wrong” with her (not that I would position it that way) - she goes berserk if I even suggest a trip to the doctor for something physical. So I’m looking for advice on HOW to approach the subject with her in a way that won’t feel confrontational or critical - perhaps might even give her the tools to reach the conclusion herself.
The next big question is how we would approach getting a diagnosis - and whether it is even worth it when it’s such a lengthy process and support Is so scarce. I feel like if I am going to discuss the possibility with her I need to at least have a plan up my sleeve to explain to her what we’re going to do to help.