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Hope I'm doing the right thing

3 replies

Crystallizedring · 10/09/2024 08:45

DS is due to start school next Tuesday. He's only doing 90 minutes but I'm dreading it. At his second settle he refused to go in to the classroom at all so I picked up early, only by about 5 minutes. Third settle done by DH was not much better. It was a story time session and in hindsight we shouldn't have bothered. DS cried when DH left and then stood by the door for 25 minutes waiting for his dad to come back. His first settle was okay as I was there.
He's non verbal, not toilet trained, socially, emotionally and cognitive wise he is at the development stage for a child half his age. Hates loud noises or children getting in his space. He has little concept of sharing and needs an adult to sort this out.
School have been good. Met with headteacher and Senco last week who went supportive but I think they are also worried about how he will cope /they will cope.
His EHCP was rejected (refused to assess) we decided to go for mediation but just days before they changed their mind and decided they would assess. So he's been seen by Early Care Team and educational psychologist. Neither of them said he needs to be in a special school but that seemed to be what they were hinting at. If course he can't go to special school without an EHCP ( on week 12 now).
I have told school if he really can't cope with 90 minutes I am happy to pick up early and in 4 weeks we will reasse anyway.
I'm just so scared for him. I picture him standing by the door crying. I also feel he's at a disadvantage because when he starts it will be the third week for the other children.
Can I please have some positive stories of how your child coped? Or tell me this whole idea of him coping in school is a fantasy

OP posts:
openupmyeagereyes · 10/09/2024 09:07

Did he go to nursery? How did he settle there?

Crystallizedring · 10/09/2024 09:43

He did and coped really well at first because it was a quiet environment and I worked there although not with him.
As it got busier and he moved room he did become more distressed looking for comfort from adults frequently. He also regressed massively at this point. He did have an excellent key worker who he was very attached to. I know school is different but really he could have done with another year in nursery.

OP posts:
EndlessLight · 10/09/2024 12:55

You are doing the right thing by starting DS at school. Yes, it will be hard, but it will help you gather evidence for Tribunal.

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