11 year old wants to change name at school

[bailey125]

Our 11 year old (awaiting confirmed diagnosis) autistic child has been expressing a wish to change their name and use they/them pronouns as they have declared themselves non-binary

The name they have chosen is dreadful and we feel that the name change is being driven by the need to copy other children as our child often copies the fads and phases of more dominant friends.

This has caused many rows across the household as the child has become increasingly forceful in demanding we change the school register to their referred name.

Personally, im over it and happy to go with, my partner however is thinking that this is another passing phase and the supportive way is not to pander to it..

i am so stuck in the middle :(

Nicknames come and go but I wouldn’t be changing any pronouns as I’m not a believer in “gender”.

Is there room in your household for your child to be openly homosexual or bisexual?

Is there room for them to express interest and enjoy activities that are not stereotypical of their sex?

Those are the things I would be addressing if the answers are “no” to those questions. I named my children so I would be sad if they changed their name but I’d be more worried about what was driving that.

I notice you’ve carefully worded your post to obscure your child’s sex. Was that for any particular reason?