Keeping 5 year old safe while out.

[CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease]

DS5 is becoming increasingly difficult to take out safely to the point where I’m starting to avoid it.

He’s dangerous in the car - trying to undo his seatbelt, screaming and throwing things, hitting me.

He is constantly trying to run away and has no sense of road danger.

He dysregulates and becomes violent.

He’s getting big and he’s strong and fast. I’m not fast and I have bad back problems which make it almost impossible for me to lift him when he’s calm, never mind when he’s thrashing around.

I have a blue badge for him which can help with parking as close to things as possible. But I don’t know whether I’d even be physically able to use a safety harness with him, or keep him in a buggy. How do others manage this?

For the car, you need a crelling harness. You can also get screens so DS can’t throw things at the driver or hit them. Similar to what some taxis have.

For outside, if you can’t use a specialist reins/harness you need a specialist buggy/wheelchair with a harness DS can’t undo. If you can’t manage that because of your bad back you will probably need someone else.

Alongside this, is DS receiving any support? Have you tried a detailed diary to spot triggers? Have you have social care assessments?

Thanks, I’ll look into that harness.

Not really receiving support yet, on multiple waiting lists and pushing to get him assessed at various places.

If you haven’t already:
Request an EHCNA - on their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.
Request social care assessments - on their website, Contact has model letters you can use.
Request a referral or self refer if possible to wheelchair services, OT and CAMHS.
Request a meeting with the school’s SENCO. They should be providing support.

It is really hard and especially difficult if you are tired and in pain yourself. Try setting some goals (eg we want to be able to go to a cafe). Then break it down into little steps and practice till he can manage. Then build on that so you go to post a letter then the cafe, or to the cafe and then for a walk. Practice will help.

Thanks for the advice.

EHCNA has been accepted and we’re waiting for the assessment to happen.

He has lots of support in school but nothing out of school. Family life is becoming so hard to manage and I feel so sorry for DD9 as it impacts on her.

The LA have accepted that we need an assessment of need at home but again, still waiting for it to happen.

Everything is so painfully slow and stressful. I’m desperate for school to start on Wednesday but also dreading it at the same time.

Apply for dla. The money u get pay for a private adhd assessment it has changed our lifes

For DD, is she receiving support from your local young carers service? Some find speaking to Sibs helpful.

Chase social care for assessments. Is the LA sticking to the EHCNA timescales?

If affording ongoing private prescriptions would be a problem, ask the GP if the will take on shared care beforehand. Not all GPs will.

We’ve just been awarded DLA.

I’ve looked into a private assessment for ASD/ADHD but GP and LA have both said they won’t accept a private diagnosis.

He’s allegedly nearing the top of the list for assessment at the CDC now.

I think I’m just ridiculously knackered and stressed. The summer has been pretty awful.

Ours definitely won’t accept shared care unfortunately. I’ve battled with them with my MPs support to no avail.

DD is getting some support but she’s a bit reluctant to engage.

Mainly we just make sure she gets plenty of 1:1 with me and DH, and we protect her from getting physically hurt.

Although the GP doesn’t have to take on shared care for medication, the GP and the LA cannot have a blanket policy of not accepting independent assessments. And if you appeal to SENDIST or complain to the LGO, they will consider all evidnece.

I’ve just used the first DLA payment to get a Hobbledehoo harness which looks robust and hopefully will be a good start.

I'm looking at Buggies but goodness they’re expensive! Might be able to invest soon.

He’s settled down a bit this weekend, probably getting back into the school routine is helping. He struggles with school but at least it’s a routine. We got through the first week with no major incidents!

and amazingly, we got our term time holiday approved! I was genuinely shocked as I was fully expecting a fine.

There are lots of charities who provide grants for SN buggies. Try Newlife, Caudwell Children, Boparan Trust, Whizz Kidz, Florence Nightingale Aid in Sickness Trust AFK, and Hospital Saturday fund. You can also request a referral to wheelchair services. Although, at 5, some areas wouldn’t provide a buggy but a wheelchair instead.