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Would you have another baby?

10 replies

heartheart89 · 27/08/2024 10:13

Looking at trying for baby number 3, I have a 2 year old who is on the pathway for a potential Asd diagnosis, appears to be 'high functioning' sorry, I'm all new to this so not sure of correct terminology, I mean no upset to anyone if I've used the wrong wording. I have no real idea of support needs he may need at present. Would I be stupid to consider another baby. a. Because I'm not sure how much this may impact my asd son, b. I've heard the chances of another asd child increases if you already have one. My oldest child is neurotypical. I suppose I'm looking for experiences of people who have gone on to have more children after having a child with a diagnosis. Thank you

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 27/08/2024 10:18

As with any pregnancy you must be prepared for the baby to have difficulties. If you could only fit a non-disabled child in your life then imo you shouldn’t have a child.

heartheart89 · 27/08/2024 11:08

Ohthatsabitshit · 27/08/2024 10:18

As with any pregnancy you must be prepared for the baby to have difficulties. If you could only fit a non-disabled child in your life then imo you shouldn’t have a child.

Thank you, my concern would be the impact to my children. So. I suppose you are right. I shouldn't.

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 27/08/2024 16:21

For my own part I had another child and though they had very different needs it was entirely the right thing for our family.

Accbabymom1994 · 27/08/2024 16:21

I have a child with Acc and I have another who is NT and we have made the decision not to have anymore, for my children's sake and our own mental health, also wouldn't be fair on the Child coming as wouldn't be able to give 💯 attention.

heartheart89 · 27/08/2024 19:35

Thank you for some views, I guess I need to let the head rule the heart on this occasion. I know it's the right thing not to have any more but it does hurt my heart, x

OP posts:
AKHJ23 · 27/08/2024 20:36

Hi,

Our first child (6 yr old) has ASD - academically advanced but struggles socially & emotionally.

We decided to have another (who is now 9 months old). They have an incredible bond and baby always saves the biggest smiles & laughs for DD.

That said, it can be challenging at times with her ASD but I don't regret it. Though granted she is at school 5 days at week, so differing in age to your LO.

Accbabymom1994 · 27/08/2024 21:42

heartheart89 · 27/08/2024 19:35

Thank you for some views, I guess I need to let the head rule the heart on this occasion. I know it's the right thing not to have any more but it does hurt my heart, x

I know, it took me a while to come to terms with it . But right now my priorities are my 2 existing children and myself, currently trying to lose weight and feel good . Who knows in the future I might go for no 3 , I'm only 30 atm . Nothing is ever definite. 😉

Accbabymom1994 · 27/08/2024 21:45

How are your ASD children as in do they need 1:1 attention and do they have meltdowns where you have to hold them or be physically restraining them? Because my son can be so sweet at times but he does need attention a lot of the time and he does have meltdowns. That's what impacted my decision

heartheart89 · 27/08/2024 21:47

AKHJ23 · 27/08/2024 20:36

Hi,

Our first child (6 yr old) has ASD - academically advanced but struggles socially & emotionally.

We decided to have another (who is now 9 months old). They have an incredible bond and baby always saves the biggest smiles & laughs for DD.

That said, it can be challenging at times with her ASD but I don't regret it. Though granted she is at school 5 days at week, so differing in age to your LO.

That's lovely to hear! Did you have any worries about your new child also then having ASD? My worry is having another child with additional needs and then being more high needs x

OP posts:
AKHJ23 · 27/08/2024 22:01

heartheart89 · 27/08/2024 21:47

That's lovely to hear! Did you have any worries about your new child also then having ASD? My worry is having another child with additional needs and then being more high needs x

Yes, of course. That's only natural.

But from what I've seen in the last 9 months with DS it's like a COMPLETELY different child to DD. So now that he is here I have no concerns about him having any neurodivergence atm.

To add - my DD's ASD means meltdowns, physical restraint and constant attention but seeing them together when she is at her best brings me so much joy. I'm not denying it can be HARD, but if I could go back I wouldn't change the decision to have a second after DD.

Only you can make the decision about what is right for you and your family at the end of the day 😊

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