Please help don’t know what to do

[Cn1]

Hello all, I will try and keep it brief. My daughter was diagnosed with selective mutism at the age of 3. She is now 9 and I think she may have autism.

In school she just gets on with things, doesn’t appear to struggle. She is average at reading and writing, her handwriting has said to be untidy and her drawings appear to be a below average as is her maths, she has friends and seems happy to go to school a majority of the time, however she struggles with speaking in a loud voice and she uses a baby voice in school, teachers appear to think this is her real voice even though I have told them it’s not.

at home we struggle with getting ready in the morning and transition despite having a visual tick list and to do list. She gets frustrated and has big ‘tantrums’ - possible meltdowns? When asked to go from doing one thing to another.

she struggles with sleep does not sleep until after 10pm most nights despite us trying all the usual suggestions and also have a visual timetable for bedtime routine. She still wears pull ups to bed.

she loves tantrum and we support her love from them by buying her books and recently bought a pet which she loves to take care of and speaks about all the time even when it’s not relevant to the topic she usually makes comments about animals/facts about animals. She pretends to be a cat or a dog a lot of the time. She is a lovely little girl and so clever and funny but I can see she is struggling and want to support her.

when I spoke to her teacher before the teacher said ‘I don’t like labels’. Also I know 4 other parents in my daughters class that are wanting their child to be assessed and I worry I look
like I’m jumping on the bandwagon.

for those with experience should I push for an assessment? How would I do it if school aren’t supportive?

She loves animals not tantrum

Hiya hun, go straight to your GP and tell them your concerns. He can refer her for an ASD pathway.

Thank you for the response, can I do this even though school have no concerns? If you have experience with autism, from my brief description of some of her behaviours would you say they are a concern?

I have 3 kids on the spectrum. The school seen it before I did. But you go to the GP without the school seeing concerns. My daughter who is on the spectrum has a lot of similar stuff where she talks but very quiet, has friends but only a few.Alot of meltdowns . Can't deal with change or being asked to do things, She can't stand going outside, Struggles with sleep. Does your child stim at all?

Ask your GP or SENCo

She is very good and compliant in school never gets into trouble, her report said she needs to contribute more to answering questions and talking in class. She has friends and gets in with lots of children however she is very passive and will just do whatever other children want play their games etc - due to this she was tolerant of a little girl who was very mean to her for god knows how long pushing and grabbing her but she didn’t say anything at school or home it took another child to tell the teacher about what was going on - I was so upset about this.

at home she is opposite, very very loud lots of screaming makes random noises out of the blue, makes the same noise over and over, taping banging stomping of feet. Occasionally hand flaps when very excited eg over a noisy toy in the shops. A lot of her behaviours I just thought were age related but as she gets older they stand out more.

If it was me I would mention everything to the GP and ask for a referral that's what I did and my 2 oldest are diagnosed and my youngest are on a waiting list. I had to do alot of school nursing workshops to be referred tho.

Request to speak to the SENCO. The school should be providing support.

Definitely speak to the GP. As well as discussing an ASD assessment, request a referral to SALT (in some areas you can self refer) and the continence service (again, in some areas you can self refer).

You could also consider requesting an EHCNA.

We have already been seen and discharged by the continence services in our area and she was seen by SALT in nursery and diagnosed with selective mutism. I will go back to the GP and speak to the school SENCO, thanks.

If DD isn’t dry at night, request another referral/self referral again to the continence service. You shouldn’t have been discharged. Similar for SALT, DD needs another assessment/some support.