Having more kids when two have ASD

[MumsyAm]

I just wanted to know if anyone out there has had two kids on the spectrum and then had a kid who was NT? Im aware me having two kids with ASD puts me at higher chances of having another. Both are boys. I’ve always longed for three kids but with two with extra needs I’m not sure if I’d be foolish to consider more. Part of me wonders if it is just selfish as I long for a child who I can experience normal development with from the beginning. I really would like a girl but obviously one can’t choose!

I have 4 kids and when I was pregnant with youngest found out my last 2 kids was on the spectrum. My youngest is coming up 3 now and also on the spectrum. But I have seen people who have a child on the spectrum and then the next isn't. I don't think it's bad that you want your next child to have as much of a normal life has they can.

I have two children and currently pregnant with our third. My eldest who is 5 has ASD and I’d say is more on the severe end of the spectrum as it does affect his daily life a lot at times. My second is completely neurotypical, he came along and made me realise all the signs were there with my eldest I just didn’t know at the time what I was looking for and had nothing to compare him to. When comparing to my second I could tell there were signs as early as 1 month old with my eldest. He used to smile at lampshades rather than people, avoided eye contact, wasn’t bothered to be comforted by you and also stared at corners of whatever room he was in. We did say that if our second ended up also having ASD we probably wouldn’t have had a third. It’s the worry more than anything for us, worrying about their future more than you would be for a NT child. Worrying about if you’ll get the DLA and other benefits your child deserves, worrying about if they’ll be awarded an EHCP, a place in a specialist school etc. My eldest is the light of our lives and I actually wouldn’t change him for the world, he’s also oddly way easier to parent than my NT second. It’s just the worry that I couldn’t have coped with a second time around.

Thanks for this. Yes indeed my eldest used to smile at ceiling lights too! At the time I didn’t twig but it’s so obvious from the first few weeks of life now I look back.

Omg my youngest looks at ceiling lights all the time and done it since a baby.

My DS was fascinated by ceiling lights as a baby too! 😄