Possible asd 3 year old behaviour advice please

[NOTSUREWHATIMDOINHERE]

Hello

My 3 year old daughter has no diagnosis as of yet, but her older sister is a pda autistic.

My 3 year old is always hitting and throwing toys and has hurt us all in different ways. She does not seem to understand that what she is doing is unacceptable, I've been telling her off about it for a long time now. She often laughs at us when we get upset over being hurt. She has good verbal skills.

I give her a lot of attention but her pda sister is not interested in her and I feel like she hit her and pulled her hair one time when she was around 2 , got a reaction (better than no interaction ) now does it to us all.

I've tried to help my pda er who is 10, understand that if she just gave her a bit attention maybe that will help, so she sometimes will play with her when she is bored , and it always ends badly after pdaer wants to control the play and 3 year old hits out.

What can I do here? It's beyond stressful. I live a not very relaxed life when she is around me, she always wants to jump on me and kicks with her feet, everytime we tell her no, she does it more hard and frantic.

If she hits I try and hug her to counteract the upset.

Any tips welcome. Please.

Has DD2 had an OT assessment? It sounds like sensory differences are at least contributing to the difficulties you are experiencing. You may find The Out of Sync Child book helpful. And some of the ideas in this booklet and this website. Do you have any sensory equipment and a trampoline?

DD2 may have good verbal skills but she may not be able to put those skills into practice in reality when she is becoming dysregulated. Is DD2 receiving any support from professionals?

Have you tried keeping a detailed diary to spot triggers?

Some people also find The Explosive Child book useful.

You could also contact Home Start to see if they can support you. Social care assessments may also help with dividing DDs.

Thank you, I will look at the links and get that book. No assessments done as of yet.

yes have trampoline and tent and sand pit in garden and plays in water a lot. Play doh. Likes the swing at the park. I will be doing further research on this, this sensory processing advice sounds promising to help her. Thanks again.

If hugs help, you could look at a weighted vest/blanket, cuddle ball or a steamroller to provided similar pressure.