When can I expect to be able to work Full time?

[mummyofhyperDD]

Hoping that others can share their experiences.
I've always worked full time until DD started in reception. I changed to term time only school hours as DD was unable to tolerate wrap around care/ holiday clubs. My employer is so understanding especially my immediate line manager who has children with similar issues.
DD is 8 years old and going into year 4 in September. She has ADHD and autism, high anxiety and phobias. I'm expecting she will need my emotional support in secondary school, particularly to do school pick ups (her phobias mean she can't walk to and from school).
I moved her from a state primary where she's wasn't coping to a tiny all through independent school where she's thriving - she will stay there until she's 18 and I'm confident they will meet her mental health needs.
Obviously she is my priority but am I realistic to think that once she's 18 and at university (she's academically able), I will be able to go back to full time work? Or will I need to be around for the university holidays?
I know no one has a crystal ball but I'd love to hear others experiences (realistic is fine , I'm not looking for false hope)
I realise I'm extremely fortunate to be able to send her to private school on a term time only job - only possible due to savings accrued by working full time since I left university, I'm late 40s now and worried about my pension and being able to retire..

The savings have been spent on medical treatment and school fees - that's how I have managed so far.
I now have £3,000 of savings left so I'm entitled to put in a claim for UC

Having worked full time and saved for years I'm mortgage free as a single parent- which is how I can pay her school fees which are the equivalent of a mortgage payment

I don’t think there is any way of knowing. Some manage to return to full-time work when their DC are older teens and young adults, but some can’t manage that.

Have you considered requesting an EHCNA? If necessary an EHCP can funded an independent school and transport.

Such a shame you have to jump to the worst conclusion. I've got to 48 without relying on the state - before DD s needs became apparent I didn't even claim child benefit but having a disabled child has limited my working hours . With my DDs needs I could just choose not to work at all and rely on benefits but I want better for our future than that..

@BrumToTheRescue
Thanks for your reply. My daughter would not qualify for an EHCP as she is academically able and coping in the independent school with very small classes. She requires physical leaning aids like overlays etc which I provide and movement breaks etc which the independent school can accommodate, the school have been clear that she won't qualify for an EHCP - as they are meeting her needs - which I'm grateful for.

It's just that working part time is such a sacrifice in salary

DC who are academically able can get EHCPs. Managing in an independent school doesn’t mean she wouldn’t qualify either. For example, if DD is only managing because of the small class sizes, they couldn’t be provided in your typical state mainstream. Unfortunately, many schools incorrectly tell parents their DC wouldn’t get an EHCP, but the parents go on to successfully apply themselves even if they have to appeal.

Are you receiving DLA for DD?

@BrumToTheRescue
Yes, DD is receiving DLA which has been very helpful in helping pay the school fees and the private medical treatments she is having .

She is coping with the small class sizes in a way she just wasn't in a class of 30.

It's very unlikely our local authority would fund independent school fees - I know a number of other families who have looked into this and been unsuccessful, so at the moment I feel I have to conserve my energy - I have learnt about the process but don't have the fight in me to do a parental EHCP if the school won't support it.
I also don't want to let DD fall so badly she qualifies for an EHCP - parents I've seen get an EHCP is where the child really isn't coping at school

You may have to appeal, but ultimately it isn’t them making the final decision. You can appeal and then SENDIST decide. It is possible to get an independent placement named whatever LA you live in.

DD doesn’t need to fall behind for an EHCP to be issued.

@BrumToTheRescue
Do you work in this field or have you experienced this with your own children? Since DD was diagnosed I've been attending local support groups where this is discussed - but I've only ever met one person who has been successful in getting the local authority to fund independent school fees - and she is a professional SEN advocate who makes her living doing this
Having reviewed DD's reports to see whether it would be worthwhile pursuing- even she advised it was unlikely that DD would qualify for an EHCP - and it was very much in her financial interest to take me on as a client but she didn't.

I'm managing to pay using my salary and her DLA. No safety net though as savings have all been spent and I'm at the point now - which I never expected to be - where I qualify for UC ..

I have 2 DSs with EHCPs and have supported numerous other parents, both FOC and also while working (PT TTO) for an organisation who supports parents of disabled DC. Some of those I have supported now have independent schools named in section I of an EHCP.

A child who cannot cope in a state mainstream because of their SEN meets the legal threshold for an EHCP, but it may take appeal(s).

It often takes an appeal to get an independent school named in an EHCP, but you don’t need to pay for an advocate (and if you do, you should choose carefully because it is an unregulated business and while there are some good ones there are also ones who do more harm than good to cases). What you do need is evidence. If you had to appeal, you may be eligible for legal aid, which can fund independent assessments if they are necessary.

You mention medical treatment. If you mean therapies such as SALT, OT, MH therapies that is another reason to request an EHCNA. They can be included in an EHCP even if DC doesn’t meet the threshold for NHS treatment.

@BrumToTheRescue
Thank you, I recently submitted a parental application - using all of DD's reports of which there are many as she has ADHD, ASD, auditory processing disorder - being treated by johanssesns individual auditory stimulation, visual processing disorder and retained infant reflexes - being treated by a behavioural optometrist with exercises, irlens syndrome - she uses overlays.
I applied now because I've heard that after 2 years the reports are considered out of date and I'm hoping that we are at the end of our diagnoses.
The (independent school) SENCO said she had spent time with DD on a residential and in her view DD would not meet the threshold for an EHCP as she is coping well. SENCO said the pupils in the secondary school where the school had supported an EHCP had much greater needs and required more interventions. I don't want to rock the boat too much with the school as 1/3 of year 7 get some level of financial assistance and given my current low salary I'm hoping DD may qualify for some help in year 7.
She's academically able, and masks at school.
I'm worn down by meeting her needs out of school though and wondering when it's going to get easier . I realise it's likely to get a lot worse in the tween and teen years based on the experience of other parents of autistic girls..

If the LA refuse to assess or refuse to issue, appeal.

The (independent school) SENCO said she had spent time with DD on a residential and in her view DD would not meet the threshold for an EHCP as she is coping well.

But DD is only coping because of significant support, including funding an independent school with small classes. Other pupils’ needs are irrelevant.

SENDIST used to consider reports up to 2 years up to date. Over the last few years they have sometimes considered reports younger out of date. Where possible, I now try to have evidence from within 18 months - sometimes that is by asking a professional who has written an older report if they will write an addendum.

@BrumToTheRescue
Please could I pm you for further advice on this? Or perhaps I could contact the charity you work for?

Feel free to PM me.