Feeling confused, can anyone help?

[nikos]

Ds (3.5) was observed at nursery about 4 weeks ago after concerns were raised about his behaviour. She told us verbally that ds showed Aspergers traits. Her report didn't mention this but she did say he was a complex case as he didn't show a lot of the key autistic traits (although he does shy away from any group activites). We do recognise that there is something a bit 'odd' about ds (he is our third child) but we also can see weekly improvements in his interaction with siblings and his communication skills. We do also see melt downs and some rigid thinking.
We had our first paed appointment today and she said that often very bright children present with autistic traits at this age. We recognise that ds is far ahead of his siblings at number and word recognition. She had wanted to leave it for 6 months and monitor it.
BUT I have pressed for a more thorough assessment as if he is ASD, and that would be fine, I want to know so that we can get help in place.
So my question is - is it possible that the Aspergers dx is a red herring and should we be looking at a different way of dealing with it. Does anyone have any experience of this kind of thing.
Hope this is not too long for people to read.

Sorry, he was observed by speech and language therapist at nursery. Should preview

I have to say my dd didn't get her dx until she was 7 as having aspergers and i feel her traits came out far more between 6-7. we saw over 20 pros who said she wasn't on the spectrum and had a language disorder. Eventually i still wasn't convinced so we saw a cp who specialises in complex cases like me dd and after 6 months we did get an aspergers dx!

Would you expect quite quick improvement in social skills if it was Aspergers. He seems to be interacting much better with siblings, initiating games and using imagination.
I suppose I'm trying to understand whether an ASD would cause such a rate of improvement.

i think it really depends on the child tbh. my dd is very sociable, has a fantastic imagination (more so than an nt child) and plays really well with her brother. however she does continue to have difficulties with her social skills. so it's a hrad one. like anything all children are different. i know over 10 children with aspergers and no 2 are the same. some are sociable, others not. some, like my dd, play imaginatively and others absolutely cannot. some have good eye contact, others don't etc etc...

What other "symptoms" does your son have, nikos? If he only has slightly unusual but improving social skills, then it might be worth watching how it goes over the next six months. But if he has obsessions, peculiarities in his motor skills, or other unusual features that are often linked with AS, then it might be worth asking to look further, if you're up for it at this stage.

My son is clearly intelligent - is only just 4 but can already read with expression, is very good with numbers and simple maths, has an excellent memory and concentration. He also has an excellent imagination and sense of humour and plays beautifully with his little brother. His oddities are: he was very delayed with his gross motor skills, because he is hypotonic and hypermobile, but also because he appeared to need to be taught how to crawl, etc, before he could attempt it for himself. He also has numerous motor tics already (eg pulling up his trousers all the time when completely unnecessary, lifting his eyebrows, making a noise through his nose). And, of course, whilst he gets on beautifully with his little brother, he isn't interested in socialising with other children. He is eager to please all adults, however, so his pre-school teachers all love him. He can also be rather obsessional - eg he loves listening to the same CD of 50 nursery rhymes all the time (sometimes quite happily just watching the CD player to see the number of the song) and he loves singing all 50 songs, in order. He can be distracted from this to do more interesting things, but will always hark back to it at some point.

There is clearly something unusual about my son, and I am still in a quandary as to whether to pursue a diagnosis now or wait until I see how he gets on in reception. Like your son, his social skills and other oddities (apart from the tics, which are getting worse) are improving all the time, but I am acutely aware that hypotonia, hypermobility, motor tics and obsessions are all frequently associated with aspergers syndrome (even if not, except for the obsessions, part of the diagnosis), so do worry. Besides which, of course, motor tics and poor sporting ability aren't exactly a recipe for a bully-free school life.

I'm happy to have a diagnosis and have pushed the paed to start that process as I want to get in early if we need any treatment.
His main 'symptom' is interaction in a busy environment e.g nursery. He shows aggressive behaviour, although this is reducing and sensitivity to noise and can have melt downs there. He can shout out inappropriate remarks, although again this has been decreasing. He didn't used to interact with siblings much, whereas now he does most of the time. He is not potty trained yet at 3.5.
He can be very bad tempered.
The symptoms he doesn't show are obsessions and needing routines, his echolalia has disappeared, not fussy about food, good eye contact and shows me things.