Anxiety

[Blueroses99]

DD7 was diagnosed with ASD about 2 years ago. Recently she has become very anxious. She asks for siblings as she is lonely and wants me to see a doctor to ‘fix my tummy’ (I can’t have anymore children for medical reasons and have tried to explain this in age appropriate terms). She says she misses our old house, we moved a year ago and while it isn’t as nice as our old place, I thought she had adjusted. I have asked what she misses, to see if it’s something that we can do something about but it’s ‘everything’. She doesn’t want to sleep on her own, even though she has been doing for years.

A couple of years ago, she was anxious about very specific things to do with school and I worked with her teacher to resolve, though she had never actually said at school about her worries, only at home.

Now I am not sure how to handle her issues, we can’t have any more children or move house! I wonder if it’s hormonal, I know she’s young for puberty but I expect the effect is gradual and not overnight.

I feel a bit out of my depth and would appreciate any advice on how to support her, how to get to the root of the issues and how to make her more comfortable.

If DD wants a sibling because she is lonely, can you work on building relationships and increasing social interaction with peers? For example, does DD participate in extra-curricular clubs? Is there a local group for DC with additional needs you could attend? Is DD receiving any support with social interaction at school? Does she have anyone you could invite for a play date?

Rather than focus on the old house, could you ask DD how you could make the new house feel more homely to her?

Thank you for your reply. She does lots of activities and has a nice bunch of friends at school. Play dates have dropped a bit this term due to her activities and changes to my working hours but we do at weekends. I’ve always been very conscious about her social life as I was very lonely as a child despite having a sibling, as there was a big age gap. Most of her friends have siblings, and mostly share rooms. Her closest cousin had a sibling recently and I think that might be why she is struggling a bit at the moment.

She was receiving extra support at school but is deemed to have caught up and isn’t anymore.

I’d love to know what to do to make the new house more homely to her. She has all her things.

I will look into SEN groups, and the other thing that is suggested is a small pet.

The school should be providing support. Speak to the SENCO. DD may have caught up academically, but she still needs support socially and emotionally.

Has DD chosen how to decorate and accessorize her room? If you haven’t already decorated other rooms, you could get her involved in deciding how you will decorate.