If your child has ASD, anxiety and/or DCD, what support do they receive in school?

[CatStoleMyChocolate]

Short version: if your primary-aged child has ASD, anxiety and/or DCD (dyspraxia), do they receive support in school? If so, what support do they receive and is this funded privately or via an EHCP? Is there support you think would be particularly helpful for a child with this profile?

Long version: DC1 (8) was diagnosed (privately) with autism earlier this year. We’ve been told he meets the threshold for a dyspraxia/DCD diagnosis following a private OT assessment. He might have selective mutism and there are questions about his higher level language understanding and auditory processing. We’re currently waiting for the outcome of an SLT assessment. He has some sensory issues.

He is not disruptive and is meeting age-related expectations, so his school have shown no interest in providing support previously, despite recognising his anxiety, as “he isn’t showing need” and the anxiety is “just who he is”. He masks like a pro and lets it all hang out at home. He struggles socially and doesn’t really have any friends. Some low-level bullying this year.

The SENCO is perfectly pleasant but it increasingly feels like a game where I have to ask for a specific support measure or it won’t be offered. Workaids provided by us are fine - but in their view he won’t meet the threshold for anything that costs money/takes time. They’re currently trying to discourage me from applying for a EHCNA.

The OT report is great and outlines what provision they think he needs, EHCP-style. We’re expecting the same from the SLT assessment. We think he needs support for anxiety but working out what support would help is difficult. We do not have bottomless pockets and we cannot afford to be paying hundreds per month for therapies.

If you have a child with any of these conditions, accepting all children are different, do they receive support in school? If so, in what format? Any idea of what we could reasonably ask for and/or whether we need an EHCP would be really helpful. I am concerned that without support, the wheels will come off at secondary and we will end up with him school-refusing - and get the distinct impression his current school are trying to kick this down the line as in two years’ time he won’t be their problem any more.

Well what support do you want for him, specifically?

DS has ASD and Dyspraxia, I think in primary school he did a few sessions with an ELSA trained TA and at Secondary school he uses a laptop. It took me 4 years of asking every year to get him sat at the front of his class as he can't filter out distractions. Unfortunately unless your ds is very challenging or very far behind I think it's pretty difficult to get any help.

This is the problem - I don’t actually know! If it was “I think he needs X therapy or Y adjustments”, I could discuss with the SENCO and we could take it from there. But I don’t know what would be helpful for him or realistic to expect the school to provide, with or without an EHCP.

I think he needs help with his social communication and his anxiety. The OT has recommended a few hours a term of OT provision (plus some LSA support and work aids, extra time in tests, possibly someone to scribe for him but I expect school to reject that as his handwriting is reasonable). I’m waiting to see what the SALT recommends.

@Sue152 , that’s what I expect - as he’s meeting age related expectations and isn’t disruptive, I’m fairly confident he won’t get any help unless we pay privately. I am just worried the wheels will come off at secondary school and keen to do what we can to avoid that happening.

IMO the best thing would to get an educational psychologist to assess him and make recommendations. If you applied for an EHCP, and it was approved, this is what would happen.

@openupmyeagereyes that’s what I think - he is bright but I don’t feel he’s achieving his potential. School have already said he won’t get an EHCP and we live in an area where the council is in special measures for its SEN provision; anecdotally it seems it’s a real issue getting them. But I think he meets the legal test for an EHCNA.

If you don’t know how do you expect them to? I’m not being deliberately obtuse but don’t you see the issue there? So many pupils need support in school now schools are struggling and as I understand it EHCPs are for children with very high needs. If something presents itself later and a clear adjustment is needed broach it then, but please be mindful of just how much ‘supporting’ schools are having to do and the impact of adding more

Apply for the EHCNA yourself, IPSEA have a model letter you can use, and use the autism diagnosis and OT report as evidence of his needs.

As a PP said, a good Educational Psychology report will detail the provisions that will help him reach his potential. Unfortunately LAs have huge waiting lists for EPs, and their reports can be pretty poor, so if you can fund it yourself I definitely would.

I’m very mindful of that, thanks - I have friends who have children on part-time timetables, illegally excluded as school can’t meet need, etc. I know how stretched schools are.

What I expect is for the SENCO to suggest some options to try, or to say that if he was struggling more, X might be an option but he doesn’t meet the threshold. Or that Y might help but we would have to pay privately. Or that there is no support available unless his issues become so debilitating we can’t get him into school, etc.

As I haven’t done this before, I’m just trying to get an idea of what support could be helpful for a child with these issues.

He masks like a pro and lets it all hang out at home.

This is called the coke bottle effect. It signifies unmet needs at school.

Ignore the school trying to put you off requesting an EHCNA. Some schools incorrectly tell parents their DC don’t need or won’t get an EHCP, but the parents go on to successfully apply themselves, even if they have to appeal. On their website, ISPEA has a model letter you can use to make the request. You do not need to know exactly what support DS needs. Ignore anyone who claims you do. That is what the EHCNA is for. The threshold for an EHCNA is relatively low - a) has or may have SEN, and b) may need SEN provision to be made via an EHCP. Other DC's needs are irrelevant.

In the meantime, if the school needs more advice and your LA still has a specialist autism teaching service, has the school requested their input?

Does the school run a nurture group? Do they have anyone who can support emotional literacy/Zones of Regulation work? Drawing and talking therapy? Sensory circuits? Have they tried speech to text software? Movement breaks (proper movement breaks not the half hearted type many schools give).

DS3 has ASD. He transitioned to EOTAS this year, but before that he had a lot of support in place via his EHCP. It included full time 1:1, SALT, OT (including sensory OT), emotional literacy support, physio, clinical psychologist sessions, Lego therapy. Then smaller things like assistive technology and specialist software, sensory equipment, movement breaks.

Personally, I wouldn’t seek an independent EP report before requesting an EHCNA. Anyone good will have a waiting list and you don’t want to delay applying for an EHCNA. With an OT and SALT report you should have enough to get you over the threshold for an EHCNA (even if you have to appeal). I would save your money in case you need to appeal further down the line.

Apologies, I didn't mean wait for an EP assessment before doing the EHCNA, I would do the EHCNA now, but get your own EP report to inform the content of the plan.

It’s not really the OP’s or her ds’ problem that budgets are stretched. Even without an EHCP, at the very least I’d expect school to be putting some social interaction support in place - small group stuff with scaffolding for example. He’s probably not the only child that would benefit from this.

Ask to meet the SENCO to discuss recommendations in the professional reports.

It’s all of our problem to be mindful how we use services to help them run to their optimum. Saying ‘there’s an issue but not sure what and don’t know how you could help, but do something’ is a misuse of the service in my opinion. Read the teacher thread. They’re leaving in droves in part because of overburdening them with the constant expectation of extra support for the children. Op why don’t you try some new strategies to help him?

Saying ‘there’s an issue but not sure what and don’t know how you could help, but do something’ is a misuse of the service in my opinion.

Then you don’t understand the SEN system and SEN law.

This is a board for carers of SN children. OP’s ds must have had sufficient difficulties for her to seek and receive a diagnosis for him. It’s not unreasonable for her to ask what supports he might need to help him in the classroom. Not all support costs a lot of money. OP can still try strategies to help support him at home.

@BrumToTheRescue , thank you - that is really helpful and echoes some of the comments friends of mine with children with SEN have made. We do not have bottomless pockets and an EP report will be a significant outgoing for us. And the coke bottle effect is exactly what the OT said when I described it.

A lot of the things you ask about are the kind of things the OT has raised but if the school have them, they’ve not been offered, with the exception of Jigsaw (which I think is what you describe as a nurture group). Which has done nothing for him in terms of how his anxiety presents at home.

@MaryMaryVeryContrary, I hear what you’re saying. The problem is that he is not always able to articulate what the problem is - because, you know, he has a condition that affects communication. We have spent most of his life trying different strategies to take the pressure off at home. I have done courses and read parenting books, and try to put different ideas into practice.

DC1 is wonderful but has had significant difficulties since starting school which primarily manifest at home as he is very compliant in a school environment - so, for example, he is now very anxious about transition to the next school year (lots of questions, lots of tears at home) but shows no signs of this at school. As someone up thread said, the decision for us to seek assessment was not taken lightly and we were discouraged from doing so by school and others as we were encouraged to think his issues weren’t bad enough and/or he would grow out of them. But as he’s got older, his differences have become more apparent.

Unfortunately DC1 is very demand avoidant at home and refuses much of what I suggest we try - and I can’t make him engage.

Incidentally, his motor issues are significant and put him in the bottom 5th percentile for a child his age.

Thanks for starting this thread, it could be about my DS6!

DS is very quiet and academically fine at school; but really struggles socially and with anxiety, is now starting to show OCD behaviours at home (where it all comes out, lots of emotional outbursts etc). totally relate to the coke bottle thing! Getting harder to get him to school in the mornings. As he is so compliant at school they are reluctant to start the EHCP process. We could save up and get him some private support, but no idea where to start.

Can I ask what books or blogs you’ve read that have been helpful?

@Sendchocolateandwine you can request an EHCNA yourself. You don’t need the school to do it or their support.

Books that many find helpful include The Out of Sync Child, The Explosive Child and Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight.

@Sendchocolateandwine, yep, sounds very familiar! Love your user name, by the way! Very much echo your experiences of compliant child = school not interested.

I second the recommendation “The Explosive Child” - it focuses less on diagnosis and more on lagging skills, ie your child struggles to regulate emotions - let’s assume they’ll get there, just later than another child their age, let’s look at what you can do to help that. I found it a pragmatic book.

I also found Yvonne Newbold’s blogs and talks helpful when we were going through the hitting phase (happily we left that a few years ago but I mention it just in case it’s an issue for you or anyone else reading this - I felt less shame about having a child who lashed out physically).

For support, I think some of it depends what specifically he struggles with. For us, people have suggested play therapy, art therapy (as mine often struggles to verbally articulate his feelings), and a speech and language assessment as a SALT might be able to help with social communication skills - I mention this not to patronise but because I’d assumed they focused more on language development and enunciation before this. I’ve also heard of equine therapy but not looked into it myself.

I agree with some of the suggestions above about nurture groups and small group work in school. Our problem is the SENCO won’t tell us what’s available in school unless we ask the right question - for example, DC2 is starting reception in September and I found out from the prospectus that as part of their SEN support they apparently have a sensory room. She’s never mentioned this to us!

Ds1 (nearly 18) has autism (diagnosed aged 9). He is academically very able, struggles socially and uses music to self regulate (not sure if that's the correct term but it calls him and helps prevent meltdowns). No extra help at school or college, apart from being allowed to use the music room at break and lunch during covid when there were no lunchtime clubs and he wasn't allowed to leave the area for his year group and see his brother during school time.

Ds2 (16) is on the asd pathway and also has ehlers danlos syndrome type 3. He is on the SEN register and we have yearly reviews. He has a designated TA he can go to if he needs help and he is allowed to go to the SEN department at break and lunch. He doesn't use the support he has been given because he doesn't want people to know he has SEN. He would rather wait until things get really bad and he is curled up on the classroom floor screaming.

Ds3 (13) is on the pathway for asd and adhd. He has the same support as ds2 but he also gets extra verbal warnings before he gets a detention.

Ds4 (11) has moderate learning disabilities, hearing loss and possibly dyspraxia. He got an ehcp in year 2.

Ds5 (10) has asd (diagnosed aged 6). He is being assessed for an ehcp.

DS is receiving support at school in the form of a programme which helps support fine and gross motor skills. Can this be offered to your DS, OP?