DS is 6. He has an older brother (9) who has ADHD, dyspraxia and probable autism. I know that a lot of ND is genetic/hereditary and I'm starting to wonder if I'm missing something with my youngest. I'm posting here as I know you'll all have useful insights 😊
DS has always been quite clingy to me. He is only recently comfortable with me going out for the evening or leaving him at all. He describes himself as shy, and I guess I would too. He's absolutely fine if he knows you but if he doesn't know someone he doesn't like to chat to them. He doesn't like talking to people in shops for example and he requires a lot of cajoling to attend things like holiday clubs. He will do something if he has to (I work, so he has to) but he genuinely seems to not enjoy them and says "I just missed you Mummy, I wanted to be with you instead". He point blank will not stand up in front of people and do any kind of reading or performing. Class assemblies, sports day, he just refuses and cries. I guess that's all quite normal but I also wonder if that forms part of a bigger picture?
He is a perfectionist. He doesn't like to be wrong or to loose. He doesn't like people to judge him or say anything, basically he gets really embarrassed. Sometimes he counteracts this by mucking about, instead of it being obvious he can't do something or is finding it hard. We had this when he was doing rugby, he eventually said he was being silly so nobody would laugh at him when he couldn't catch the ball.
He's a bit of a sensory seeker, he finds it hard to sit still and listen but I think this is to a normal degree. It was always really obvious that his brother struggled with this and hes not nearly as bad.
School haven't said anything to me about anything other than his lack of confidence. He often will take his work to a table on his own to work for example. He is quite sensitive to noise too.
Other than that he's great. He's physically capable, academically on track, he's also very emotionally switched on. If a friend is hurt he will go and help them, he is good at understanding his own feelings and other people's. He has a small but firm group of friends and though he can be shy with new friends, with his good friends he's really confident and he has good social skills from what I can see. He's got a fabulous imagination and will play role play games till the cows come home!
Do we think he's just shy? Or are there any other red flags here that others can see that I haven't picked up on yet. I'd love to get opinions.