I have a 4yo DS and 3yo DD. DP (their father) has ADHD and was diagnosed as a child. My understanding is that if one parent has ADHD then chances are their children will have it too. I have some concerns about my children but I know they're very young and this may well be age related but I was hoping if I listed some of my concerns then someone might be able to guide me.
First 4yo DS - he's generally a well behaved child, and doesn't struggle sleeping. I am mentioning this as my understanding of children with ADHD (which is very little) is that many have trouble falling asleep/staying asleep. One of my concerns is excessive talking. When he's at home he doesn't come up for air, though in front of strangers he is really quiet.
He often watches tv by sitting upside down on the sofa. He can be chilled, particularly when drawing.
He has a problem with bowel incontinence and since birth he hasn't been able to pass stools causing chronic constipation and constant soiling. This affects his appetite and the bowel blockages can cause him to be lethargic which is the only time he's not bouncing around everywhere. All the children I know of with similar issues have ADHD/ASD apparently due to the way they process the sensory side of needing the toilet. This is yet to be explored with the consultant.
He is very impulsive, often hitting/punching 3yo DD. He hits me and DP but usually out of excitement never aggression with us.
He is very emotional - I am not sure if this has any relevance. His nursery haven't got any concerns.
3yo DD - I am struggling lately with how aggressive she is. Myself and DS are covered in cuts where she has scratched us. As soon as she doesn't get her way she's instantly violent. I try not to raise my voice unless my children are doing something dangerous for example. If I raise my voice she laughs or she just isn't phased at all. Again I only do this if she does something that could hurt her or someone else.
She was a late walker and talker. She turned 3 in march and she is now talking a lot better and is able to express herself with sentences. I'm not sure if her outbursts are because there are still some things she can't yet say so is maybe feeling frustrated.
She has attended nursery since she was 1 for two days a week, she has always screamed crying going in. This has eased off now she goes to nursery for 5 days a week but only just. She tantrums a lot but I know I probably haven't handled the tantrums as well as I usually would over the last few weeks due to some mental health problems I have (I have anxiety and currently in therapy for OCD).
I have probably been very vague particularly with 3yo DD and I know she is only very young still and it's probably just age related. I've just had a tough few weeks with their behaviour and my worries regarding ADHD seem to be heightened.
Also for context, myself and my mum suspect I have ADHD and I know if I do then it explains a lot of my mental health struggles which is why I want to be on the ball in case my children do as I'd want to make sure I could approach things appropriately so they don't struggle mentally like I feel I am.