Autistic DC and divorce

[Mettlez]

My DS (6) already struggles with school and routine. Often gets upset at going to school. We are managing, just. He's in mainstream school but with additional support.

My DH has been distant from me for the last 3 years. I feel v lonely. Just come home from a very long day at work and he hasn't acknowledged me.

I've been avoiding splitting as I can't handle the guilt of what the change may do to DS. But I don't know if can live like this for much longer

My questions are whether anyone has any experience of this and also if child has diagnosis and various referrals about need to minimise change, will that help me avoid 5050?

Any advice?

I can’t advise on the legal side of things but just to say that I really empathise with what you have said as I am in a similar situation. My DC is 9 and has ADHD - they are doing well at school currently (after years of issues) and I really worry what a separation/divorce might do to destabilise things. A 50-50 custody arrangement would also be a disaster for us as DC is very emotionally dependent on me and I do 99% of the parenting.

It’s hard, isn’t it. Objectively I think that if I have tolerated the situation this long then I can continue to do so. My DH isn’t actively abusive to me but is distant and uninterested and I fantasise about what life on my own might look like and the possibility of eventually meeting someone else. We lead very separate lives.

As far as custody is concerned, I would hope that a judge would take your son’s diagnosis and medical needs into account? 50-50 should only be applied if it is in the best interests of the child, surely?

Would your STBXH want 50/50?